Unexplored Spaces

April 12, 2124

The planet’s landscape was dangerous. Trembling pink flowers were toxic, as were the leaves on the many trees. Not much else lived on the planet, mostly insects that had adapted to the hostile environment, and were usually poisonous as well. The first exploration of the planet, named Nemesis by the Interplanetary Council resulted in unpleasant and unforeseen difficulties.

Nemesis was a frightening but fascinating research playground for planetary botanist Rebecca Leeds. Examination of the toxic flora had yielded information about how poisons develop and spread and resulted in ways to treat similar poisons on earth. This was the fourth, and probably final visit to Nemesis by Starship Hawking.

The crew of four dressed in suits that completely covered their bodies and helmets that sent breathable air to their lungs. They were packing up to leave when Rebecca tripped on a fallen log and tore open the sleeve of her suit on the sharp bark of a tree.

“That’s no good here,” she said, her voice giving no hint of the fear she was starting to feel.

“Head into the pod,” said microbiologist David Dean. “We’ll finish here.”

“Thanks,” answered Rebecca .She headed for the pod. But before they reached it, a silver insect about 4” long flashed into view and skidded over her arm. Sleek, aerodynamic with translucent wings, it was another beautiful entity whose surface hid danger. Its stomach was razor-sharp, and its venom was lethal. Rebecca gasped and froze in place. “Becks? Are you OK?” asked David.

The venom’s effects were terrible and immediate. Victims’ respirations became very rapid and so shallow, merely sips of air from the tops of their lungs, that adequate breathing was impossible. Heart rates sped up and became too chaotic to adequately circulate blood. As a result, victim’s bodies worked very hard with little effect, and soon lost consciousness. Survivors, when they could talk at all about the experience, told of terrible, tormenting visions.

Rebecca began to pant and started to fall. “Shit, shit shit,” said David. “I’ll call the ship and get priority re-entry and a medical team.” The rest of the crew quickly gathered their gear and carried Rebecca into the pod. Once there, they hooked Rebecca to oxygen, but could do nothing about her chaotic heartbeat. She soon lost consciousness and her skin became icy cold.

******

Once the team entered the ship, the waiting medical staff rushed Rebecca to sick bay. Dr. Lisa Fisk and the staff intubated her, sending oxygen with enough pressure to fill her lungs without harming them. A cardiac pump was placed on her chest to convert her fluttering heartbeat into productive beats. Intravenous lines sent fluid and nutrients into her body, and monitors sent data about her body functions to the staff’s handheld computers. Lisa had been Rebecca’s best friend since their last year of college and through the Academy, but she locked that information away. The best thing she could do for Becks was to keep her body functioning and hope she came out of the coma whole.

The staff adjusted Becks’ monitors and set up for shift change. the shift on the Bridge was changing as well. Only now could Captain Ryan Price rush into Sick Bay. He and Rebecca had fallen hard for each other this year. Ship gossip flew faster than lightspeed and he’d known about Becks’ condition for over an hour. He locked his fear away and stayed at his post.

“Lisa, what’s going on?” he asked. I hear it’s bad. Can I see her?”

“Sure, Ryan. But she’s in deep coma.”

“So soon.”

“It’s so damn quick. I’m glad the pod crew were able to get her back so quickly. We’ve got her monitored so we can see what’s going on. But talk to her, Ryan. Even in deep comas, hearing is the last sense to fail.’

Ryan walked into Becks’ cubicle. She was given over to technology now, as equipment breathed for her and maintained her heartbeat. The intravenous lines and monitors connected to her turned her into a puppet, pulled in too many directions by too many strings. Ryan had never seen her so still. She was so very pale. Her green eyes, always so watchful and expressive, were empty, as if she had been erased.

“Hey, Becks, I’m here.” He held her icy hand. Please, keep me from losing it, he thought. I have to be strong for both of us now.

Rebecca was still inside her immobile shell, although she couldn’t speak or signal. Her mind still clicked along, and she remembered everything. There had been pain, then dizziness, then her chest felt like a group of butterflies had nested there, then nothing. Now there was blackness. Her arms hurt, one with severe pain, one with soreness. What was hitting her chest, thump-thump-thump, it would drive her mad.

She sensed that she was on her back with her head elevated. She did remember being lifted and striking a bar before being placed in this space. She was cold. Coldness seemed to enter her veins. Was she dead? But the cold, the pain and the thumping – they wouldn’t be happening if she were dead.

Her eyes felt like they were open but all she saw was blackness. She remembered reading stories about being buried alive. She started to moan, but something blocked her throat, something that snaked along it.

Ryan? Was Ryan here? She sensed something …

She was turned, shifted. Something was pushed aside, and she was cold, then warm again. The coldness in her arms changed at intervals and the pain lessened. Merciful warmth was placed over her. Someone pushed back her hair, adjusted her head on a pillow. Was Lisa here?

Would she die? Was she asleep and dreaming? Was she being punished? Now eyes appeared in the darkness, yellow, flashing. A silver streak sped by and sickened her. Thump-thump-thump. Was she going crazy? Now voices whirled and hooted around her, sounding like the keening of mourning women, but eerie and malevolent.

Was she being punished? For what? The keening rose and fell, and the silver streak flew around her, scaring her. Was Lisa here? Lisa, her best friend, always made sure that Rebecca had a place for the holidays, as her family had washed their hands of her.

Memories rushed into the blackness, warring with the voices and the eyes. Was she being punished? Her family hated her. Slaps, pinches, pushing. She tried so hard to forget, but there was nothing to keep memories at bay here, just the keening and the thump-thump. I will die before I go crazy.

She remembered her last time with her mother, before she went to college. Her father had left for good when she was six. Her mother was now a small, grim woman, aged by drinking and constant smoking. Her life had been hard, but ….

Mother, it’s not my fault, why will hitting me make it better for you?

Rebecca had worked weekends and summers and applied for every possible scholarship. More work was in store for her if she were to get into the Space Academy, but at least she was moving ahead.

“You’re really going to college,” her mother said. “Little Miss Priss college girl. You can stay right here and go to the two-year college, be a computer operator or a surgical tech. You’d make good money. But that’s not good enough for you, is it?”,”

“That’s not true! I just know what I want to do.”

“Outer space. Christ, you’re a fool. You don’t need outer space, there’s enough space between your ears. How much time and money will that take? I don’t have a cent for you. Too smart for your own good. God knows what you’ll get into in the dorms. Probably drinking and getting nailed by anything in pants.”

“You would know about that” Rebecca lashed out without thinking. Her mother’s fist caught her cheekbone and she almost fell.

“Don’t come back here,” her mother spat. She never did, but she had a hole in her heart where family should have been. Was this her punishment, thump-thump, keening rose and fell, dear Lord help me. The silver streak flashed. Hadn’t it done enough?

She was moved, turned, her skin touched by who? Was Lisa here holding her hand. She must be, as she felt anchored.

Phantoms appeared. Father pushed away her six-year-old self as he left for good. Mother with a stronger temper, slaps, punches. School gave her no mercy, not even with Advanced classes and the honor roll in high school. Boys in cars yelled as they drove by. “You’re the slut’s kid, are you a slut too?” The faces of the boys loomed hugely in the dark, then melted.

The silver streak flashed, taunting her in her despair. The faces loomed again, now her mother’s male “friends,” whiskey breath, standing too close to her. She learned early on to hide until the faces melted, (no, that was then, not now,) To hide until the men went away.

She felt something cold splash in her eyes, and they were covered with cloth. Time wore on. How long had it been? She was moved again, was covered with something warm.

Ryan spent as much time as he could, barely able to eat or sleep, but talking to her. He told her about his day, reminding her of the things they did on leave in New York City. The eyeshade disturbed him almost as much as Rebecca’s empty eyes. Lisa told him the eye drops and eyeshade kept her corneas from getting dry.

God, he was tired. Sleep had been hard during the two days Rebecca was in sick bay. He had a nightmare last night. He was surrounded by gray wool, dense and musky. He knew what it meant. The starship work would continue, he would do well and rise in rank, but life without Rebecca would be gray and gloomy. He drifted off by her bedside.

Thump-thump-thump. I won’t go mad. I don’t want to die, even if it means carrying the memories and scars forever. I don’t want to die.

Suddenly the room was brighter, even with her eyes covered. Her arm and legs were able to move now. Her hand touched something through the bars, something firm, covered with cloth.

She took off the eyeshade. Ryan, Ryan was here, she could see him again. She got a hand out through the bars, touching his knee. Why was he so pale? Her vision was still swimming but she could see dark smudges under his eyes. She touched his knee again. His eyes opened.

“Becks? Rebecca? Rebecca are you here?” She nodded her head. His hand caressed her hair and shoulders, then he turned to leave her cubicle. She tried to call out as he left.

He was back with the medical team. “So, you’re back with us, you little slacker,” said Lisa, but her voice was trembling. “Let’s have a look at you.”

People looked at the monitor and shone a light in her eyes. Lisa cranked her bed up higher so she could see something of the world she had come back to.

It all became clear during the days she healed. Other than the eyes, the keening, the terrible memories, everything made sense. The constriction in her throat was a breathing tube, placed in her windpipe so she could breathe. The thumping that nearly drove her mad was a pump that kept her heart beating efficiently. The coldness in her arms was caused by intravenous fluids that delivered medication and nutrients. The pains in her arms were caused by the needles used to open her veins. The stronger pain in her left arm was a result of being torn by the insect on Nemesis, The wound was covered by a neat bandage and was healing well. The turning and moving she felt was the medical staff, keeping her clean and positioning her so she didn’t get sores. The silver flash in her delirium was a memory of the insect that had inflicted a terrible wound.

Lisa and the staff monitored her. Her vital signs were normal now. She was easily weaned from her breathing tube. She cried at times and was easily startled but wouldn’t tell anyone about her fear of death and madness, the inner space she had to navigate until she came back. She never would.

She had a blessed shower and shampoo. She ate Jello and broth and moved to soft foods. Soon she would be back in her room, to rest until she was ready for duty.

She still worried that the mad visions she had during her coma. It helped that Ryan came every day, always with something to cheer her, ice cream from the cafeteria, cartoons, (dreadful) haikus that he had written himself and that she would keep forever. The days had taken a toll on him as well. She pleaded with him to rest, but he came faithfully every day and in truth she was happy to see him every time. Ryan and Lisa were the lifelines that kept her anchored, that eased her fear that the madness would return.

She realized how much she had come to care about her starship family. They came to see her, the pod crew, the people from her lab, the crowd she spent time with after work. The ship’s librarian came with a copy of Pride and Prejudice , her favorite book, one that had comforted her in bad times. Yes, a print book. The librarian could get information from anywhere in the universe in no time, but sometimes only a good read helped, as it did now. Certainly, Elizabeth Bennett wouldn’t let a little coma get her down.

Having navigated her inner space, she was eager to get back to her job, despite its dangers. Were dangers like the toxic plants the way Nemesis protected itself from intruders? Perhaps that sounded silly, but it was a reminder to preserve the integrity of the places they explored.

She was finally hungry. Her clothes hung on her. For the first time in her life, she needed to gain weight, not control it. She missed Earth food like crazy at times like this. Everyone did, no matter how hard the ships cooks tried to make meals appetizing.

She remembered the leave she and Ryan took in New York City, where cuisines from anywhere in the world were available to them. But her favorite was her final meal there, a cheeseburger. But what a burger it was, perfectly cooked, dripping with Cheddar and avocado. Anyone who had such memories of a cheeseburger was sure to stay alive.

THE END

Bio: Angela Camack is a librarian who has spent her career connecting people to information and ideas. She is now getting her own ideas out. She has been published in Choice, a magazine for academic librarians, Ocotillo Review, East by Northeast Literary Magazine, the anthology Turning Darkness into Light and Other Magic Tricks of the Mind and Creativity Webzine.

E-mail: Angela Camack

Website: Angela Camack's Website

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