A Mini Stir of Into Action

“Visitors from the stars! Welcome!”

 “Err… Where?”

 “Where?” asked the Minister of Interaction.

 “Yes, come where? said an interstellar traveller.

 “Come where…? Oh, no, no, I said ‘welcome’ I didn’t say, ‘well… come’.

 Bemusement crossed the visages of the alien visitors.

             “Please excuse my ignorance,” said the Minister, “now, I must inform the world of your arrival…”

             “Sir,” one alien interrupted strongly, “I come in peace. I am are not a rival.”

             “What…? Oh, no, no, I didn’t say, ‘you’re a rival’. I said ‘your arrival,’ ‘your arriving’ ‘thank you for coming here,’ that is.”

 Further bewilderment infused the star-folk, they muttered together (“Four come in here??? Four come in where??? What’s he talking about???”). 

             “And, let me tell you,” said the Minister, “we’re very pleased to meet you. ‘United,’ is our hope! United, with you, is our future!”

             “Oh really!” came a cheerful reply, “Thank you very much! Yes, we have studied some of this planet’s ancient history and its royal acts. That sounds very nice! That’s so kind of you!”

             “Um? Royal acts?”

             “Yes, we have learnt that it is one of the highest honours, here, to be knighted. Thank you! Are you knighted?”

             “… ‘R united? Man United? Oh! Are you knighted...?’ Ah, I see… Um, no, no, I said, ‘united’ u-n-i-t-e-d and not ‘you knighted’, ‘y-o-u’ ‘k-n-i-g-h-t-e-d’. But, of course, with communique there are many barriers.”

             “Oh, is that a common name here? Is that your name, then? Do many people share that name?”

             “Er… Many people share my name…?”

             “Yes, Barry Manilow, Barry White, Barry Gibbs, many Barriers? It seems to be a very common name here, yes?”

             “Ah! Barry, Barriers, now I get it. Erm… yes… well… it’s a well-used name, but I’m only just beginning to realize how diverse language can be.”

             “Oh! Hamlet!”

             “Pardon?”

 “That’s Hamlet! From our research that has to be Hamlet.” 

             “Hamlet?”

             “Yes, by William Shakespeare. Hamlet died speaking in verse at the end of the play. The die verse scene.”  

             “Oh… err… yes… err… that’s right, ‘the die verse,’ um, ‘diverse’. I see, and, err, to move on, please let me know if you have any questions.”

 “Yes! We are on several quests right now, quests of discovery. It’s amazing. But none of us are named ‘John’.”  

             “John…?”

 “We haven’t heard of the ‘Quest of John’. Was he a saint or a knight of the round table?”

             “Ah… I see, question, quest John… Umm… this isn’t quite how I had anticipated things.”

             “Yes, ‘The Quest of John,’ can you expand?”

             “Expand? OK… Well… think of it like this… exercise, deep-breathing, it expands the lungs, good exercise.”

             “Oh really, your ex a size, eh? A good size, eh? Yes, we’ve seen a lot of that on this planet. Is it the food, the cakes, the beer?”

             “Hmm… size… exercise. Oh dear. You can hear my sighs, I’m sure.

 OK, well… yes, I upset my ex and, yes, that made her sigh, at times. But my ex gave me sighs too. So, now we’re living apart…”

             “Wow! Really? That is interesting. So, now is only a part of your living. You mean that on this world life stops, hibernates or dies perhaps, and then starts and stops again and again? Well, we’ve never encountered such a species before. That is amazing!”

 “Err… Stop sand? Start sand? A gay nan? Der gain???”

“Amazing! So you die, or sleep for centuries perhaps, then come back to life again, yes? Wow! That is surreal!”  

“So real? So unreal.”

“Your life now is only a part of a much longer series of lives? How did that evolve?”  

             “No, no, no, ‘apart’ means separated, while, ‘A… part,’ means a section of something, and... anyway… forget it, forget it. Err… so, tell me, how about your lifespan?” 

             “Oh, yes indeed! On our world there are those who say that life’s a pan. Can you imagine? A toilet pan that is! Ha! Ha! But it’s a matter of personal opinion, I’d say.

 "And, here on your world, do most beings think life’s a pan, yes?” 

             “Erm, yes, some do, and err… well… let’s move on, shall we? Can you describe your planet?”

             “Oh yes, successfully. The onset of technology de-scribed our world a long time ago. Scribes were replaced by voice input, and voice-input was replaced by thought-input.”

             “Oh dear… scribes, de-scribe. I get it.”

 “Yes, there are very few scribes now, though. But those who do still scribe have a very elegant writing style, but, unfortunately, it is very costly to purchase.”

             “I see.”

             “Yes! We want to go there! We want to see that, the Ice Sea’. We have learnt that drift ice flows south from the arctic on this world. It sails like a stately crystal armada over the northern seas. It would be great to see that.”    

             “Ah, yes, well… early springtime.”

             “Spring time? Oh, you mean you have to 'up and go' now? That’s a shame. We’ve learnt a lot from our contact with you. And we, too, have to be on our way. We’ll spring away, as you might say on this world.”

 “Well… yes… and it is sad to see you go, but, of course, you must take your leave.”

“Oh, thank you very much, and yes, our scientists will sample those leaves. Their origin, their photosynthetic ability, those leaves will be of great interest to our world.”

“Ahh… yes… Well, farewell.”

“Ooo, yes, yes, the fares are well expensive for our interstellar travel. You wouldn’t believe the cost.”

“Err, quite.”

“OK, we’ll be as silent as possible. We’ll try not to make a noisy departure. We don’t want to disturb the genteel inhabitants of this charming world.”

“No… Thank you… and… goodbye.”

“No, no, we’re not buying anything this time. We’re just investigating. Maybe we’ll do some shopping next time. We’ll try ‘The Nile’.”

“Ah… ‘Amazon’.” 

“Oh! Are you? Thank you for telling us. I’m a son too. Then please say, ‘Hello’ to your dear parents for us. Well, now, it’s back to the stars for us! Au revoir!”  

“‘Oh, we’re far???’ Ah, I see you’re travelling far. Yes, I get it, I understand. I think…”

 And the excited aliens waved goodbye and went on their way, cheerfully continuing their quest to make alien contact with ‘Mini Stirs of Into Action’!

THE END

Bio: David Baresch has published with…
Aphelion
XR-Hub
The Telegraph media
New Humanist
Austin McCauley
David Baresch also…
Promotes Mercat Ghost Tours, Edinburgh
Produces and publishes music videos

E-mail: David Baresch

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