How can you help a little blue man?

I was sitting alone on a beach one day
half-lit and waiting for more.
When a little blue man walked right up to me
and asked me "What was the score?"

"Where am I?" he said and "Don't be afraid.
But direct me to Alpha Centaur..."
"You're lost," says I. "There's no need to explain,
for my friend, I've been there before."

How can you help a little blue man
who's billions of miles from his star?
You light up his smoke, you laugh at his jokes
and you take him to yer favorite Bar!

After a while he asked me again
for directions to take him back home.
Though the drinks we had shared, if anyone cared,
would have floated a choir clear to Rome.

A star-gazer I knew, could set his course true
if we could just find him alone.
So we set off to find this good friend of mine
at his telescope stored at his home.

"Please help me help this little blue man."
I said as we staggered inside,
"He's lost and alone and a long way from home
and I cannot help him, I've tried."

My friend says to him "Just where have you been
and we sat up and drank half the night.
He told us of places and exotic races
'til we were both filled with delight

And the drinks that we poured became quite a score
but our little blue friend wasn't tight.
When I asked him of this he said with a hiss
that the alcohol mix wasn't right.

Oh how can you help a little blue man
whose bartender can't get it right?
You mix one yourself, like a jolly old elf
with a kick that is pure dynamite!

My astronomer friend, with his drink-sodden grin
said "I think I can show you the way..."
"For I've looked at your star and I know where you are
but I fear it's a very long way."

Then with a drink in his hand spoke the little blue man
and he promised to show US a way
to go out at night, spend it in delight
and return on the previous day!

Oh how can you help a little blue man
who can't get his self off the ground?
You give him some Gin, and then pour him in
to his saucer that you've had flown around!

Dan Hollifield (Aphelion's Editor, by the way) was born in 1957 at almost the same minute that Sputnik II was launched. This seems to have warped his point of view in the fact that he has always been rather a nut on the subject of spaceflight. He lives in Athens, Ga. USA. More biographical info can be found at The Mare Inebrium website - if you need that sort of thing.

Find more by Dan L. Hollifield in the Author Index

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