The Loveless Blind Monk

Your beauty blinds me,
Te-Deums of a roaring cathedral,
Sultry summer nights in a splendid
boudoir— perfumes of incense
and oils within our souls,
Yet when I wait for thee, the worms
gnaw at my very cheek beside us
entombed,
Beauteous shadowy beauty, mine,
I call to thee in this dark hour of gloom!

The Devil designs a cold marble sepulcher
under leaden skies laid in earth,
The lonely pained monk falls blinded
in bended hearts of the church's worship—
holy praise and sacrifice within
devout and pious shrines,
Your somber songs are religious ecstasy,
We greet the day with Orations of hymns,
O my sole love, pity me for I am a slave to
your magnificent and deadly charms,
The blind monk returns in God's will to live and
fade away without you to worship, O beauty mine!

Church bells ring dark cadences for the fallen—
Our hearts old as cemeteries holy and abandoned
that master Satan visits nightly,
In horrible dank earth, I long to be at thy earthly side,
in life as in death, O shadowy beauty, mine,
Beauteous angel and devil divine ye are my very
breath of life!

The horror of lonely rainy moons prey upon
tortured souls at eventide and beyond,
The new gold dawn of silver shining stars
revisits our souls,
The echoing of your voice De Profundis,
swells in the nightmarish air O shadowy beauty,
angel mine, divine!
Singing songs for a lost time,
We venture alone without a spirit strong,
saddened, mournful crying out for
the lost dawn—
long years of decades past,
Your sob renders the blade cutting
my black heart in two to always be without you!

Have you no remorse, shame, or sobs
for this abhorred heart such as mine that
you leave forever behind?
In hollow black tombs, former lives
exact the curse and blessings as a steely sharp knife,
The entombed have faith in promises silent as
the grave,
Burning, the fire whispers heretical deeds of love's
cruel hello and goodbye,
I do not follow you forevermore denied in the
heart's chamber!
Centuries pass in remembrance of when you were
by our faithful side now scarred and ugly as black
dusty tombstones,

We greet the dawn with a plaintive, mad cry
sighing for the dead dawning of love's suicide,
Our most wretched passions, unrequited in
the heart's ugly genocide,
How you ignore me so and yet call me by name!
Darkest angel, beauty, mine—
this dark angel shall now scorn ye Devil divine!

Thy haunted soul knows of his far away master,
religious, grievous only pardoned by God—
Dante's Lucifer by your lost side!
Does he love you like I do?
Have you wishes of this lost soul by your
faithful and honorable side?
I heed warnings that I cannot follow thee,
Yet pursue the law of love, life and liberty!
Honoring the decay of black dreams—
desolate doorways where we pray in harm's way,
I offer to you endless nights without moon or stars
crying for the dawn,
While your snuffed candle yawns,
sobbing to be without me,
We are martyred slaves as ye turn away,
Lost Lord of this quest of the heart,
A new heaven and earth passes away!

Dead religion in hell's helm is the grisly bark
by night and day where you, my sole love pity
me whilst I pray for you to save me—
I will worship the Gods above in splendid love!

Alexis Child hails from Toronto, Canada; horror in its purest form: a calculated crime both against the aspirations of the soul and affections of the heart. She worked at a Call Crisis Centre befriending demons of the mind that roam freely amongst her writings and lived with a Calico-cat child sleuthing all that went bump in the night and is haunted by the memory of her cat. She is once again signed to Nostilevo Records in the near future. Her goth rock band, Ceremony 7 will be re-issued on this record label in the Fall.

Her fiction has been featured in The House of Pain, Screams of Terror, SpecFicWorld.com, The Official Fields of the Nephilim Site, SinisterCity, and U.K.'s Dark Of Night Magazine. Her poetry has been featured in numerous online and print publications, including Black Petals, Blood Moon Rising, Estronomicon eZine, Death Head Grin, Midnight Lullabies Anthology, Sein und Werden, The Horror Zine, and elsewhere. Her first collection of poetry, "Devil in the Clock," will be released in print in the future by Witchfinder Press.

Visit her website: http://www.angelfire.com/poetry/alexischild/

Find more by Alexis Child in the Author Index.