Resume
for BoD South Riding, VA
by Richard Tornello
I’m honored to serve
the planet Earth for the last 3 to 4 millennia. I have been directly
involved in such famous activities as, the Great Flood, the sack of
Troy, the sack of Rome, the Spanish Inquisition, the Bay of Pigs
Invasion, and
the intelligence foundations for the Bush attacks in Iraq, to name just
a few. I have written a number of important works under various
pseudonyms including: the Bible (both old and new editions), the Koran,
the Magna Carta, Fanny Hill, the Articles of Confederation, Catch 22,
the Cat In The Hat, and the Tea Party Manifesto, to modestly name some
you may know.
My
Goals For Serving Up South
Riding:
As this planet’s
history lushly illustrates, and like many quark based sentient bipedal
beings, I am seeking this office as a springboard to bigger and greater
things especially social and economic benefit for family and friends.
And if elected, The Trickle-down Theory will eventually benefit those
who have elected me.
Other
Leadership Activities:
More importantly, I have come
to enjoy the company of all the creatures living here, and in so doing,
If elected I have offered to spare this community from the power of the
large-scale invasion fleet coming from my home sector, The ABELL 520
Cluster. I was sent as a teacher and ambassador to this planet some
time ago as you can see by my resume.
I decided to relocate to South
Riding because of its wonderful HOA which has a similar mind set as
some of the governments I so respect and I’m sure you do too,
like: North Korea, the People's Republic of China, Burma, and Iran.
You’ll agree they illustrate current ideals to which we seem
to emulate, but a much smaller scale. How quaint. Oh I love it. Vote
for me!
The
Personal View:
For all you interested in my
personal life, I have had a number of wives which shows I can be
flexible in various and demanding situations. I have a pet
Schrödinger cat named Stella. I have the military and
political experience as illustrated above and it’s probably
just a wise decision to elect me, considering… (again, see
above).
I am also the volunteer press
secretary for Gina Harlow, a presidential candidate for this political
entity of what I have no name for. What would you call an ex-republic?
So
Write-in my name:
R.Stephen O’Llen-Rot
You’ll be glad you did
© 2011 Richard Tornello
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