Resolutions (of a witch queen)

This year I must not leave undone
The things I mean to do
To conquer north and east and west
And ravage southwards too

I will seek out some magic orb
And multiply my power
I’ll start to jog, and join a gym
And wallpaper the tower

I’ll clean out that piranha tank
Repaint the dungeons too
I’m sure that those I torture there
Would much prefer them blue

Along the line I’ll meet a guy
Who’s not a total jerk
Seizing heroes as they pass
Just doesn’t seem to work

I’ll even catch up with old friends
We seem to have lost touch
Of course, with those besieging elves
I don’t get out too much

I need something to which I might
Just manage to stay true
And I’ve thought of just the thing
‘Be evil through and through’

Stuart Sharp is a writer and postgraduate history student currently living in East Yorkshire.

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