Business Unusual

Althea stopped texting her friends at the mall, mid-keystroke.

A bald man with a plunger stuck to the top of his head was stuck in the shop's doorway, the handle tight against the frame.

He unscrewed the handle from the black rubber base, straightened his gray business suit, and then used the stick like a cane as he walked up to the counter. The base of the plunger was still high on the back of his head.

After a moment, she asked, "Jewish?"

"No," he said, "just like to be prepared. I'm Delbert Lunt. Is Madame Oberlin in? I need a reading."

Her eyebrows rose. "I am Madame Althea, her daughter. How can I help you?"

"I have to find the Rharlac."

When her mom left to go to the bank, Althea just knew it was going to be one of those days.

"The Rharlac? Lovecraftian beastie? Tentacles everywhere?"

He brightened. "Good. You know it. I need to find it."

"What for?" She cringed. Never ask customers why.

He ignored the question. "Crystallomancy or astromancy?"

She didn't know how to do either. "I think cartomancy instead."

He frowned. "I don't have time for tarot card nonsense."

"Mister Lunt, if you want to find a creature that powerful, it will require the strongest skill I have."

She pulled out a tall stack of business card-sized slips and fanned them out in front of her, the written side away from Lunt.

He shrugged. "How do I find the Rharlac?"

He drew a card. "By Jove, you're right."

It read, Take the girl with you.

"What?! I didn't make one saying that! Besides, I can't leave."

He laid ten $1000 bills on the counter. "I can compensate you for your time."

She looked at the money. They needed it.

"No disrespect, sir," she said, "but I don't know you."

His 'cane' tapped the floor. "Does your mother have a phone, some way you can reach her? Ask her? I'll go to the butcher shop while you call. We'll need fresh meat."

He whirled out the door.

She stared at the money. It was more than she had ever seen. She knew they were never going to give her mother a loan--what reputable institution paid to keep fortunetellers in business? Without that cash, they'd be out on the street. She thought hard about it.

He returned with a small, white-paper package. "What did she say?"

Althea bit her lip. "That ten thousand is not enough for the Rharlac."

He added to the stack. "Shrewd, your mother."

$30,000! She clutched it in her hand. "I'll just put this in the safe, and we'll be off."

In the back room, she wrote a note about going to the ATM for change.

Lunt waited by the door. "We'll need those cards."

Her throat was dry. They had to have that money, but Althea knew she shouldn't have agreed--she could wind up on a milk carton.

"Which way is the Rharlac?"

He drew another card. Down.

Across the street, Lunt forced open a manhole and climbed down.

"Ew!" Althea held her nose.

"Come on down."

The rungs on the ladder felt wet and gritty, the air stale and heavy. Before she was even halfway, the darkness pressed in on her. Her foot plunged into gray liquid, and she tried to remember if these sewers were just for storm water or not. Lunt waited at the bottom with a small flashlight.

***

The fortunes lead them through the sewers until there were only a few cards left.

"Listen!" Lunt cupped his hand to his ear.

The sound of him running away with the only light filled her senses, and she stumbled after him. When Althea caught up, he was standing by a support pillar.

"It's just over there."

She couldn't see anything.

He pointed his light at his own face and leaned close. "I need you to stay here and point this light at it. If you don't, it will get us both."

Althea felt something metal touch her wrist, then heard the sound of a handcuff close.

She tried to pull away, but it was too late.

Lunt pulled her other arm around the pole and locked it tight.

"Hey! Let me go!"

He put the flashlight in her hand. "Keep the light on it."

"What!?" Something moved in the dark. Instinctively, she pointed the light.

The Rharlac was just feet away from them. A mass of tentacles, like a giant squid, filled most of the passageway. She saw Lunt screw the handle back onto the plunger on the top of his head, and then pull it off, keeping the cup part upright.

"Mighty Rharlac!" he shouted. "I have brought you a sacrifice!"

She shook. "Hey! No!"

Lunt removed the steak from inside the plunger and threw it. The monster caught the body-temperature meat and pulled it down underneath itself. Seconds later, its tentacles rolled upwards. She saw the mouth of the Rharlac--a beak the size of a man's fist. Above, it's black eyes locked on hers.

It squirmed toward her.

She screamed.

Lunt whirled between the tentacles, jabbing his plunger over the beak.

He plunged like a madman.

The monster convulsed, and then she saw a bright light inside the creature.

Lunt pulled.

A globe of light inched out.

The light shriveled to the size of a marble and stopped glowing. Lunt dropped it into his pocket.

The creature morphed, taking on the shape of a person.

"Mom?"

"Althea?" Madame Oberlin, shaken, looked around. "Mr. Lunt? The banker?"

Lunt said, "Those weren't treats in that bowl. You ate one before I could stop you."

He unlocked Althea, and she hugged her mother.

Althea looked back at Lunt. "How did you make the cards work?"

"You did that, not me. Your gift is real."

Her mother smiled at Althea, and then asked, "Why would you have such a thing on your desk?"

"Flexible payment plan." He grinned. "Banking is a lot more exciting than people think."

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