Marley Laughed
by Thom Hinks
Jacob Marley was dead, never to return. (Well, almost never.) Charles Dickens begins his tale of the miser Ebenezer Scrooge by letting us
know this in no uncertain terms. Old Scrooge may have shed a singular tear at the news, but then, business was business after all. Let the
dead bury the dead, life must go on.
So it did… for Scrooge. Marley was merely a footnote in the pages of history; an old friend, now best forgotten. Requiescat
in pace.
Deep in the afterlife, however, Jacob Marley was resting in anything but peace. As an inhabitant of Hell, he was paying that well-known
price that even Dante would have admired— chained to his ledgers and cash boxes by literal chains, exactly as he had been chained
figuratively in life. How awfully fitting! Those chains were heavy and cumbersome, which made it difficult to sit down and impossible to
recline.
Poor Jacob Marley. But let us not weep bitter tears for this deceased miser, for, as we know, he was reaping exactly what he had sown. The
wheel of fate continued to turn, and turn, and turn.
But then, suddenly, it stopped spinning, and an attractive female apparition appeared, as though from out of nowhere. She stood in front
of Jacob Marley and commanded him to stop and heed her request.
"Get out of my way!" snarled the miser. "My fate does not allow for idle chatter."
He tried to shoo her away —with his arms still laden with iron chains— but the young woman stood her ground. "You have no
sway over me, Jacob Marley. You do not frighten me nor do you have the power to stop me…" and her voice took on a sudden mellow
tone, "…from asking of you a great favor."
At this, Jacob came to a complete stop. Never before, in either his before-life or his after-life, had anyone condescended to ask of him
any favor; nor would he have given it … unless there was a beneficial reciprocation. But now, at this most inopportune moment, a favor
had been requested and Jacob, with an almost humane tear in his eye, found to his surprise that he was almost eager to grant such a
favor… sight unseen.
Of course, he had his reputation to uphold, so he merely muttered "Bah!" and turned his back on the young female apparition.
But the spirit merely chuckled to herself and grinned. "You are indeed my brother's partner. That was one of his favorite
expressions whenever things failed to go his way.
"But where are my manners; let me introduce myself. I am Fan and I was Ebenezer's sister. I died young while giving birth to my
son, Fred."
"I remember that young whipper-snapper. Always barging into the office with a nauseating 'Hello, Uncle Ebenezer' on his lips
whenever he wanted something. But you didn't stop me from carrying out my eternal penance just to pass the time of day. What in blazes to
you want, Lassie? If it is within my power —such as it is— to grant, I will do so."
"It's very simple, Mr. Marley," the spirit responded, politely referring to her elder by his surname, "I want you to
help me save my brother's soul."
"You might as well ask me to save myself. It's too late for Ebenezer, just as it's too late for me."
"Oh, no, Mr. Marley, I know that there is still some good lurking in those curmudgeonly depths of his, and together you and I must
find a way to bring that good to the surface. Today is Christmas Eve. What better time of year to perform such a miracle?"
"I repeat: where do I come in?"
"I want you to go to my brother and talk to him. Tell him to mind his ways and inform him of the consequences awaiting him if he does
not."
"Bah!" Marley repeated, primarily because he knew that his young visitor would be amused by this particular word. "It will
take more than just a warning and some saber-rattling on my part to get him to repent." Then noticing the twinkle is her eye, he added
mischievously, "What devious plan do you have up your sleeve, Lassie?"
"The most powerful persuader in nature, Mr. Marley: fear!" Then leaning forward with a conspiratorial gesture, she whispered,
"Tell me, sir, does he believe in ghosts?"
© 2023 Thom Hinks
Thom Hinks is a retired technical writer and an avid science fiction reader. This is his first attempt at writing a story for publication.
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