A Legalistic Thing Called Love
by Daniel Clausen
It had taken him forever but the businessman had finally acquired
the rights to the word "love." In his penthouse suite on the top of the
building that bore his name, he would frame the legal document that
showed his ownership of the word "love." From there, he would sue those
who used the word.
It had taken him a lifetime to get to this point. First, he had to
lobby for legislation to make the ownership of words legal. Then, he
had to lobby to have all words privatized. Then, he had to put much of
his existing businesses at stake to maneuver himself into a position to
buy this particular word.
"I had to give up 'socks', 'whimsical', 'reasonable', and
'pomposity", but it's all coming together," he said to the man in the
mirror, a version of himself that he secretly believed was actually a
doppelganger trying to take over his empire. The doppelganger didn't do
very much besides mimic him, but still, he had to admire the patience
of that smug bastard.
The phone rang. He picked it up. Old style. Very classic. Made from the finest ivory.
"Uh, huh. Yes, I see."
He placed the phone down.
He walked back to the mirror. "Well, I knew this day was coming.
I've got the disease. They said they would name it after me, but that's
poor compensation for actually having it. What's that?"
He leaned closer to the mirror.
"Aw, you clever bastard. Gave me the disease so that you could swap
the antidote for my rights to the word 'love'. Well, there's one thing
you didn't count on, doppelganger. I 'love' one thing more than myself
and the ability to sue others for using that horrible word. Do you know
what that thing is?" he asked the mirror.
Finally, the doppelganger spoke. "Ah! I forgot! You love winning."
"Exactly!"
He and his doppelganger shared a hardy laugh together before the businessman dropped the mirror out of the window of his office.
THE END
© 2016 Daniel Clausen
Bio: Mr. Clausen's work has been published in Slipstream Magazine, Leading Edge Science Fiction, and Black Petals. If you are interested in a review copy of his new book, The Ghosts of Nagasaki, you can contact him directly at ghostsofnagasaki@gmail.com. His most recent Aphelion apearance was Buddy in our December 2013 issue.
E-mail: Daniel Clausen
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