Alternate Universe of a Forgotten Vampire
by Gary Davis
He was a dabbler, a nibbler and a decrepit dribbler.
A perpetual intellectual, a misbegotten scribbler.
The ladies could never pull away too fast.
He nibbled at their necks for an hours-long repast.
Their blood would dribble, drip by loathsome drip,
leaving a coagulant mess on his lip.
As a psychic vampire he was an ineffectual bore.
His victims would flee except he bolted tight the door.
He really preferred to do drabbles and Scrabble,
unless you engaged him in unholy babble.
His aversion to bright colors finally brought him down.
He never gave women red roses or took them to town.
He fell allergic to red blood and wouldn't take a bite.
He died in his coffin at the end of a malnourished night.
Now you're only his victim if you bump into his hearse,
or take your time reading this sad contrarian verse.
—Ode to Count Drabbula
© 2022 Gary Davis
Gary Davis likes all things classic horror. He has published Halloween short stories in Aphelion, Frostfire Worlds, Spaceports & Spidersilk and Potter's Field 7 (2016-2021). He has published poetry in Aphelion, The Vampire's Crypt, Tales of the Talisman, Bloodbond, Illumen, Scifaikuest, Star*Line, Tales from the Moonlit Path, and two Lester Smith Halloween anthologies (2000-2022).
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