Aphelion Issue 268, Volume 25
December 2021
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A Short Analysis of the SETI NOISE EMINATING From The Dominant Creatures on the Planet Called Earth

by Richard Tornello

Presented to the Intergalactic Committee on the discovery of noises emanating from a planet called Earth in the far distant unmapped regions of the Universe.

To the most exalted knowing beings in the Universe, to whom we give undying devotion, loyalty, and love; our analysis follows:


A premise, a theory, a slight hint at an underlying reality ignored by most that any movement, idea, ideology or thing that one is willing to throw total devotion and effort into, is by its very nature, flawed. And why would we posit that? Because no matter how beneficial and benign the movement may seem, if it has been concocted by crazy human apes they will in no short time twist the origins and foundation of these potentially good ideas into something with no resemblances to the original other then possibly in name.

There is not much more to conclude except to mention that these apes will slaughter and kill one another as well as pollute their home with utter abandon in the name of these ideas and beliefs. We conclude they are quite insane.

The Committee also suggests we just leave them to their own devices and prevent any possible communication with the greater universe with an enforced quarantine, that is if you see fit and if you will it.

This theory does not include the underlying real possibility that they are really only there to serve the bacteria and fungi that inhabit the totality planet in a not even conceived manner by these apes on that planet.

Furthermore, these bacteria and fungi are the real dominant life forms and don't particularly care what these insane apes do as long as the planet isn't incinerated. They have made it clear in the role these apes play that we are not wanted there. The apes are in fact a defensive weapon, and specially designed to make the planet uninhabitable. And upon further analysis actually represent these bacteria and fungi in a most effective manner as an extension of them in a multicellular weaponized fashion. Many models have been designed in the past but these are the best models yet.

Our only solution is to wait for a Gamma Ray Burst to sterilize this rock. And upon that occurrence we can later sow new and saner life forms or even colonize these outer fringes if we so decide.

We await your all-knowing answers and recommendations.

Signed, The Committee.

© 2021 Richard Tornello

Richard Tornello began writing short stories and poems about 14 years ago. He has self-published four children's books including one self-illustrated book of poems.

Rick was the art editor of Quantum Muse and has been published in Aphelion-webzine.com, Orion's Arm.com, ShortHumour.org.uk, Poetry Hall, a Chinese & English Bilingual Journal, and has few stories in the anthologies Flash of Aphelion, Fantastical Savannahs And Jungles, XENOBIOLOGY and most currently BLEAKEST TOWERS. He's assisted with the translation of some poetry for a Chinese poet.

He studied at The Art Students League in NYC and later picked up a degree in History with an advanced certification in Asian Studies from Rutgers University. Postgraduate studies concentrated in Chinese maritime history.

He with and two partners started and owned one of the first nationally based resume database companies specializing in high tech, computer security and various advanced systems of specialized nature. He continues to have a strong interest in propulsion physics and XXXXXXXXXX CLASSIFIED Alien XXXXXXX CLASSIFIED systems.

Rick also competed in off-hand pistol and bench rest shooting for over 20 years and continues to shoot, draw, and write after retiring from headhunting two years ago

Find more by Richard Tornello in the Author Index.

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