It was a dark and stormy night... (Slight Return)

It was a dark and stormy night... (Slight Return)

By Jim Parnell

As I staggered to the car through the deserted parking lot, I tried to grasp the true magnitude of my insignificance. My brain had exploded earlier in the day and I had nothing left over for idle thoughts, such as "How am I going to drive home?" or "How to drive?".

Through the dim haze of my existence a persistent buzzing eventually slapped me like a 4-day old mackerel and I noticed that all of a sudden, I was walking in a purple haze. A strange wailing and electronic caterwauling began to be heard, rising in volume.

Suddenly, like a video effect from a really cheesy B movie, down floats the original God of Guitar, the Voodoo Chile himself- Jimi Hendrix- from a beat-up 1968 GTO, floating on high. With wreaths of cannabis smoke wafting like the wings of Glory, he says unto me;

"Hey man, fffff-t," as he takes a drag on a splif. "What you doin' wastin' your time away like that?"

I spluttered, "I thought you was dead, man!"

Jimi smiled and said, "I've just been, gone awhile. Here, snort this," and waved the splif at me. The smoke curled around me and pulled me up into the GTO. Jimi, now behind the wheel, says;

"Time stands still for no one. Time to go."

With that, I wake up. To my dull room. To my nowhere job and self-inflicted life. "AAAAAAHHHHH !", screeches I.

"Bad trip, man?" Guitar in hand, Jimi smiles and floats in lotus position across the room. The walls, now covered in fractal patterns, shift and evolve as I watch. MUCH better than the plain whitebread they'd been just a moment before; how does he DO that?!?

"I just dreamed I was buried alive.", I reply.

"Yeah, bad trip, man. Been there, done that, fffff-t!" He drags on his splif and intones from somewhere near the ceiling. I look closer and the fractal wallpaper just gets more complex while the feedback gets a bit louder, with subtly pleasing detail emerging in the midrange harmonics. Jimi's floating upside down now.

I can't wait for the reunion tour.

Copyright 1997 by Jim Parnell

"Jim Parnell, like most every other computer geek in America, works right alongside Dilbert (c) and Wally in Corporate Hell (The 10th circle that Dante didn't know about). He graduated from the University of Georgia with degrees in both Computer Science and Geology. A short, but painful foray into gold prospecting just didn't pan out, after which he decided steady eating was the better part of valor. He is a somewhat talented amateur musican (electric guitar, who'd a thunk it?) and is currently living in New Jersey with his lovely wife, who also holds degrees in Computer Science."

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