First Kiss

By Pravin Jeyaraj




The framed photograph was resting on the Kate's bedside table. As she picked it up in her hands and just stared at it, the memories not only flooded back into her mind but they also knocked down a few emotional barriers. A tap was opened. The reservoir that was her tear ducts had sprung a leak.

For years, Kate had harboured a secret. It was not a deadly secret that would change the course of mankind or a dark one that could change how other people looked at her. Well, not any living people anyway. No, this was just a secret kept by typical teenager, written in her diary. On the world stage, it was worthless. To her, it was oil.

"Oh Tim," whispered Kate to the photograph, "Why did you have to die, never knowing how much you meant to me?" The picture did not respond, though Kate would have given anything to make it talk. She placed it back on her bedside table, and proceeded to get ready for bed. As she pulled back the quilt, she heard a familiar voice whisper in her ear.

"Hi Kate."

Kate froze. She though recognised the voice, but every ounce of logic told her that it was impossible. After all, there were no such thing as ghosts, were there? No, it was just her mind exploiting her emotional state to play tricks on her. She started to climb into bed.

"Is that any way to treat you best mate, Kate?" whispered the voice again. That was the second time. She could not be imagining it. It must be real. Kate straightened herself, before turning around. She saw what she expected.

"Tim?" she said, confused, when she saw her best mate and secret crush standing in the same room, dressed in a white T-shirt and jeans. This contradicted everything she had been taught about life and death. After all, those clothes were hardly Gap.

Tim smiled. "It's me, Kate," as if in confirmation.

Kate wanted to touch him, hug him and hold him, but rationality held her back. "I thought you were dead," hoping that her facts were wrong.

"Yes, I am," replied Tim. "But the guys-in-charge gave me permission to attend to some unfinished business on Earth."

"Unfinished business?" Kate was surprised. "I thought you were pretty sorted in life."

"In the main, yes. Like you, however, I also had a secret that I never told you or anyone else. One that I wish I had revealed."

There was a pause, during which the two of them maintained eye contact. Kate was intrigued to say the least, but also hopeful. But there was one question she had have answered. "What's with the white gear?"

"I know it's hardly Gap, but it's regulation attire up there."

Another awkard silence, in which Kate considered whether she should say what was on her mind. After all, there was one thing worse than being spurned by a living crush - being spurned by a dead one.

"Look, Kate. I don't have long. Just an hour. I came here to tell you that -"

Kate finished off. "- I love you."

For a moment, time seemed to slow down completely. The video was on pause, and whoever was in charge of the remote control of life was pressing the Frame Advance button. With each passing frame, the distance between their faces decreased, until her lips were caressed by his mouth.

A strange electric feeling shot through Kate's entire nervous system. It was a feeling that she had never experienced before, but it was all she had wanted for the past six years. As the two closet lovers gradually fell onto the bed, Kate remembered the only other time when she had obtained such a high.

* * * * * * * *

Kate stood in the cubicle, staring at the pill that Tim had given her. He had assured her that it was perfectly safe, yet all she could visualise were those pictures of Leah Betts hooked up to a life support machine. Then again, what was the difference between chocolate and Ectasy, with its dove design? After all, they both induced brief moments of happiness allegedly. Everything would be fine as long as she drank plenty of water.

Taking a deep breath, Kate popped the pill in her mouth swallowed. She then sent half a bottle of Evian after it to prepare her kidneys for dehydration, just in case.

"There you are," shouted Tim, above the thumping bassline, when Kate returned from the toilet. "Feeling OK?", brushing against her arm.

Kate nodded. Already, within a matter of minutes, her sense of perception had increased. Where Tim had placed his fingers, her skin was still vibrating to the touch. she was getting into the music in way that she had never thought possible. The bass seemed to be coming from inside her somewhere.

Within an hour or so, there was only one thought running through her mind: "I really, really love you". This was not directed at any one clubber, more the whole club, but she was gazing straight at Tim. He was dancing with his arms above his head. His eyes were closed. His mouth curled upwards at the corners in a beatific smile. Kate wanted to tell him what she was thinking and feeling - that she really, really loved him.

"I really, really love you, Tim," she told him eventually.

Tim opened his eyes. "Hey, I love you too, Kate." He kissed her right on the mouth before raising his hands high into the air and turning in a circle. Kate was in heaven, but she came crashing back down to Earth when she saw Tim suddenly collapse on the floor.

* * *

It was the knock on the door that woke her up. She was lying naked in her bed, and the sun's rays that burst through the curtains only added to the warmth and radiance inside her. She did not want to let anyone in to disrupt those feelings.

The warmth of a body next to her was not present. Kate turned her head but Tim was nowhere to be seen. There was another knock on the door. Oh well, Kate thought, might as well let them in.

It was only Nicki, her younger sister.

"Good morning, sis" greeted Nicki, smiling in an knowing sort of way. Her eyese darted around the room, looking for something.

"What are you looking for?" asked Kate, eager to get rid of her and return to her fantasies.

"Well, come one then. Spill the beans. where is he then?" asked Nicki in return.

"Who?"

"Sis, my room is next door and the walls are pretty thin."

Kate blushed. She had definitely enjoyed last night, that was for sure. "He's already left."

Nicki smiled in disbelief. "Oh really," she said as she focused on something else. "Then I hope he does not get arrested for indecency."

Confused, Kate followed her sister's stare. There, in a crumpled pile on the floor, she saw a white T-shirt and a pair of jeans that were definitely not Gap.

THE END

© 1999 by Pravin Jeyaraj

Pravin Jeyaraj is 21 years old and studying the final year at university. He enjoys reading and writing, and has numerous poems and song parodies displayed on his web site.

Pravin is nearing the end of a correspondence writing course, and has had some success in publication both in UK and USA. He has written some fiction as well. His ultimate ambition is be a bestselling novelist and brilliant journalist, and he writes a weekly Internet column for his college newspaper.

E-mail: Pravjey@aol.com

URL: http://hometown.aol.com/pravjey/index.html


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