Still Under Warranty

by

Arnold Emmanuel



Henry poured the box of popcorn into two bowls. There was enough for the both of them so he didn’t have to run to the convenience store to get more. He had thought of filling the glasses with champagne but then they weren’t really celebrating. Water instead. Besides, he thought to himself, water was good.

"What are you doing in there?" she called from the living room. Beth wasn’t an impatient person. She just worried about Henry sometimes.

"I’ll be right there!" said Henry returning the bottle of champagne to the fridge. Another time, maybe. He set the bowls on a tray along with the two glasses of water, then proceeded into the living room.

"You missed the previews." Beth shook her head as she took a glass of water in her hand then tapped the seat next to her. "Sit down, you keep working all the time you’re going to give yourself a heart attack."

"I’m still young," said Henry sitting beside her with his bowl of popcorn. "Hope you like the water."

Beth took a sip, shrugged and placed it back on the coffee table with the tray. "Can’t really taste it, but it’s good."

"You’re good!" Henry blushed, took her hand and kissed it. He watched Beth blush as well, taking her arm away and setting it on her lap.

"Oh my!" laughed Beth looking at the end of her arm, realizing her hand wasn’t there. "My hand, I believe you’re still holding onto it?"

Henry shook his head rapidly. "Oh my god!"

Beth patted his shoulder with her other hand. "There, there, don’t worry, we’ll just put it back on." She took back her hand and tried to attach it to the end of her arm. "Hmm, I think I might need help with this one."

Henry held her arm steady while Beth tried to attach her hand. "Here, let me try, just keep it steady." Henry took the hand and pressed it against the end of her arm. He heard a snap and the hand didn’t move. "There we go."

"Excellent!" Beth held her hand in front of her face and smiled. "I must say Henry, you do know how to fix a girl right!" Her hand fell off. "Darn!"

Henry picked up the hand again. "Oh no, the movie’s starting!" He sighed, but that wasn’t important right now. He tried to snap the hand back on, turned it, but it wouldn’t budge, kept slipping off. "We could glue it on?"

"We could but then the sensors wouldn’t pick it up, so my fingers wouldn’t move. I believe you need to snap it against the wrist so it makes that connection. Though I’m not good with machines. You think I would be, but I’m not." Beth giggled. "This is embarrassing."

"Oh, don’t be embarrassed, we’ve been together for almost a year."

"And a good year, it’s been," she said wistfully.

"Hey, don’t talk like that! You just watch the movie, I’ll go find the instructions." Henry stood up and put the hand on the coffee table.

"But you’ll miss it!"

"Don’t worry." Henry kissed her cheek, then returned to the kitchen. He put his hands on his hips. Now where were those instructions? He knew he’d put them in the kitchen because that’s where he kept all the instructions. They were always in the drawer next to the stove. He opened that drawer. Instructions for the stove, radio, TV....robot girlfriend. "Ah, here it is!" He flipped to the table of contents. "How to program...already did that. Eight hundred number." Henry was glad they had those. He walked to the living room and looked on Beth sadly as he saw her watching the movie and holding a pillow to her chest with one hand. She put her hand in the bowl of popcorn, ate some, then picked up the pillow that fell on the floor and clutched it against her chest. It wasn’t fair! Henry shook his head. Well, at least he had that number. He picked up the cordless phone then went back into the kitchen. Henry dialed the number. It rang.

"Thank you for calling Manico Incorporated, all our lines are presently busy," said a voice, "please hold and your call will be answered in the order that it was received, thank you." Music. He had no idea from what decade but it was annoying.

He paced the room, walking along in tune to the music eventually. The music stopped.

"Thank you for calling Manico Incorporated, this is Barb, how may I help you?"

Thank you! Henry was ready to dance a jig, but he didn’t know what that was, just knew it was some old expression. "Yes, I’m Henry Willingsworth and...I bought a robot girlfriend a year ago?"

"The RG 121 model?"

"Yes, yes, that’s me!"

"Okay, I just need your name."

Henry took the phone from his ear then stared into it. "I just told you my name," he hissed softly. He sighed and returned the phone to his ear. "Henry Willingsworth."

"And how do you spell that?"

"W-I-L-L-I-N-G-S-W-O-R-T-H." Henry helped himself to another glass of water.

"Wollenfrost, Margaret??"

"No! Henry Willingsworth! W-I." He heard some shuffling of papers on the other end. "Hello? Are you there?"

"Yes, yes, sorry about that, I just scrolled down too far. Here it is. Henry Willingsworth. You still live at 4 Centre Bricklane?"

"Yes. Why?"

"Just checking information sir."

"What’s that have to do with my girlfriend? Her hand came off you know, I don’t have time for all this stuff."

"I understand, sir, there’s no reason to get upset."

"I’m not getting upset!!"

"Henry is everything all right in there?" asked Beth from the living room.

"Everything’s fine, Beth, don’t worry!"

"It’s Barb, sir."

"I know, I know, I was talking to my girlfriend."

"You have a girlfriend...and you have an RG 121??"

"Hey!" Henry slammed his glass down on the counter. "Now you see here!"

"I apologize, sir, none of my business."

"It’s not like that! She’s my girlfriend."

"Um, um, so how may I, or we, help you?"

Henry leaned forward on the counter. "Well, my girlfriend’s hand came off."

"The RG 121 attacked your girlfriend??"

"No! The RG 121 is my girlfriend!"

"Oh, well, that’s perfectly normal."

Henry bit his lip. Have to talk in their language, thought Henry to himself. "The RG 121's hand fell off."

"Oh, I see. Did you try putting it back on?"

No I thought I’d call you to do it! "Yes, I tried to put the hand back on, but it won’t fasten on."

"Ah, I see." Some clicking at the other end. "Oops, sorry, I typed band. Let me just correct that. Okay, so the RG 121's hand fell off?"

"Yes, that’s correct."

"Were you doing anything...rough with it?"

"What do you mean?"

"Did you throw the robot around?"

"No! What kind of a guy do you think I am??"

"Sorry, we just have to check these things. You’d be surprised at what kind of crazies purchase the product." A pause on the other end, more clicking. "Hey, did you say you live on 4 Centre Bricklane?"

"Yes, that’s where I live." He sighed. The movie was probably over by now.

"I have some good news then. It says here you’re still covered under the warranty and instead of us having to send you a replacement model you can go to our nearest warehouse facility. It’s on the outskirts, but a 30 minute drive away."

"But I don’t want a replacement model."

"Well, they may have some spare parts for you. It is just the hand that fell off?"

"Yes, just the hand."

"Probably just needs a tune up then, so I wouldn’t worry."

"Are they open now?"

Laughter on the other end. "Goodness no. They are open at 8 in the morning, if that’s any consolation?"

"Excellent, thank you."

"Thank you for calling Manico Incorporated. Is there anything else I can help you with?"

"No, that’s everything."

"Have a good night then, sir."

Henry hung up, then raced to the living room and sat down by Beth.

"How did it go?" she whispered.

"We can get a replacement hand in the morning I believe." Henry put his arm around her.

####

The warehouse was a 30 minute drive, so Henry was happy about that. Beth was beside him, eating a cookie which really didn’t go anywhere as far as Henry knew because she was a robot. Henry only noticed this now. He knew she was a robot when he purchased her, but seeing her hand in her lap, made him see her in a different light. Nevertheless, she was still beautiful and wonderful. He kissed her cheek.

"Oh my, what was that for? And you’re driving!" Beth smiled and lowered her head as her face reddened slightly. "I hate when you do that, it’s embarrassing."

"Well, I’m not driving anymore, we’re here."

"Good, that wasn’t long." Beth reached over with her right hand, the one that was still attached, and straightened his tie. "That’s better."

Henry got out of the car and opened Beth’s side before she could. He helped her out, closed her door, then locked the car. "Shall we?" He took her arm in his while she held on to her hand. "Try not to lose that, we need it."

"Oh don’t worry." It was sunny out and Beth lifted her face to let the rays warm her. Of course, she couldn’t really feel it, but it was nice to do.

Henry climbed the stairs then opened the door. After going down a long hallway, he noticed some people working on machines to his right. One guy wearing a helmet gave a nod then approached the two of them. "I’m Henry Willingsworth."

"Ah, yes, Mr. Willingsworth, I’m Dave Chambers." He shook Henry’s hand. "I’m the manager, or a manager, I should say. I run the Bricklane division, so you’re in luck being pretty close by. Follow me." He pointed up. There were more stairs, and on top of the stairs were some offices with glass windows. "That’s where we watch the employees. This is the...RG?"

They walked up the stairs.

"Yes, this is my girlfriend," replied Henry sighing. "Beth."

"Ah, you’ve named her, good idea. Some don’t name their RG’s, not sure why. You’d be surprised what kind of crazies buy the RG’s. Come on in." They reached his office and he unlocked the door with a key. Chambers took off his helmet and threw it on one of the empty chairs. He sat where he was suppose to sit and motioned Henry to sit across from him. "Now then, I think I have your file somewhere here." He flipped it open.

Beth took Dave Chambers’ helmet off the chair, set it on the floor, then moved it next to Henry and sat down. Henry patted her arm since she was seated on his right.

Chambers raised an eyebrow. "Anyway, I’m assuming your RG’s hand fell off?"

"Yes, that’s what I told the lady."

Chambers laughed. "It says here, the RG’s band fell off."

Henry’s face grew red. "Those stupid phone people."

"Ah, don’t worry about it, they’re temps mostly, but we cipher through the mistakes pretty well. Well, I have good news and bad news, I guess I’ll start with the bad. The bad news is we can’t really replace the RG’s hand. From what it says here, you can’t connect it back to her wrist. I mean you could glue it, but the sensors wouldn’t pick anything up, so the fingers wouldn’t move. It’d be like you having a wooden hand." Chambers looked around. "Um, do you want some coffee or anything?"

Beth smiled. "I’ll take a coffee. I need to wash down my cookie." She laughed.

Chambers looked at Henry strangely.

"What? What!" said Henry defensively. "Girlfriend’s eat, so why can’t Robot Girlfriend’s eat??"

Chambers shrugged. "Yeah, good point. Incidentally...you have been removing the waste container?"

Beth held up her hand (actually both). "Yes, sir. I’ve been doing that myself since Henry was uncomfortable with that."

Henry covered his face with his hand and shook his head.

"Sorry for the embarrassment, Mr. Willingsworth, we just have to cover everything. The hand thing could’ve been the cause of bloating, and in that case, we’d just have to do a scrub, then the hand would fit perfectly."

"Nope, all scrubbed," said Beth cheerfully. She looked over at Henry, kissed his cheek. "Sorry hun, didn’t mean to embarrass you."

"Yeah," said Chambers not knowing what else to say. "We’ll pass on the coffee for now. Be less complicated that way."

Beth shrugged. "Okay."

"Yeah." Chambers scratched his head. "Um, anyway, Mr. Willingsworth, the good news is you’re still under warranty."

"So then I can just get a new hand?"

"Well, not exactly, Mr. Willingsworth. The parts under her wrist are probably worn out and that’s normal, though not normal within a year, which is why we have the warranty. Under the warranty you’re guaranteed a free replacement."

"But I don’t want a replacement," said Henry, "I just want Beth."

"Well, you can still have Beth, it just won’t be...this Beth."

Beth frowned. "I am not a 'this Beth', you know. And stop talking about me as if I’m not in the room!"

Chambers rolled his eyes. "Well, if you want me to address you, um, Beth, then you’re a defective model."

"And you’re rude! How dare you talk to me that way? How would you like me to call your wife a defective model!"

"Yeah," said Chambers, "my wife’s been dead five years now."

"Then she’s a deceased model!"

"Yeah...so Mr. Willingsworth, what I’m saying is, if you keep, er, Beth here, she’s just going to break down more. You’re better off with a replacement, plus it’s free. We’ll even deliver it to you for free if you’d like."

Henry sighed. "Well, sir, I just can’t do that." Henry stood up. "I like my model, and I’m keeping her. Come on, dear, we don’t need this harassment."

Chambers shook his head. Another idiot.

Beth stood up, then grabbed her hand. "I’ll be taking my hand now."

"Have a good day then, sorry we couldn’t be of help to you," said Dave Chambers.

Beth’s tongue fell on the floor.

"Oops, would you look at that!" said Beth laughing. "My tongue fell!"

Henry looked at the ground, then at Chambers. "It’s free? Even delivery?"

"Yup, it’s all covered under the warranty."

####

Henry poured two glasses of champagne and placed them on the tray. He grabbed the tray and went into the living room.

"The movie’s about to start. What took you so long?"

Henry sighed, handing her a glass. "Just thinking of my old girlfriend, that’s all."

"Ah, yes, Beth," said Marianne.

"Sorry I keep talking about her sometimes."

"That’s okay." Marianne patted the seat beside her. "Well better sit down, you’re going to make yourself all tired."

Henry sat down and raised his glass. "To a new future."

"I’ll drink to that." Marianne tapped his glass with hers then took a sip. "So where’s the popcorn?"

"Oh, I ran out. I’ll get some more tomorrow."

THE END



© 2006 by Arnold Emmanuel

Bio: "Currently I work part-time at a fast food restaurant, try to surprise my friends, and find time to write. I have published two stories in Aphelion: The End Place in the January 2006 issue, and Devlin and the Robot Assassin in the July 2005 issue.

E-mail: Arnold Emmanuel

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