Sitting in the pilot's lounge at Serben, a dying starport in the highlands of Alpenmeuse, Joanne Holly decided that you could learn a lot about a world without ever leaving the starport. There was always video, but the best metric of a civilization was the brew they served in the pilot's lounge. Alpenmeuse is a real hell-hole, she decided as she sat over a cup of ersatz. Only the highlands were habitable, and there was so little land that the natives were always at war with one another.
How, Holly wondered, could men conquer a world like Alpenmeuse when they spend most of their time killing each other? Four centuries had passed since the first colonists had landed and it seemed that the place became more primitive with every generation. There was even talk of cutting back the express service to one ship a year. Passenger ships no longer called; there were no colonists coming and the potential traffic did not justify scheduled service.
The video receiver was showing a news story about the fighting in the western mountains; Holly was grateful this was not her world. In a few hours, she would be two hundred parsecs away and home.
A youth with a knapsack walked into the empty lounge and looked around, then at her. "Is this where the pilots hang out?" he said.
"Sometimes," she said.
He eyed her uniform. "Are you a pilot?" he said.
The youth was tall, had a wispy blonde beard, and spoke stellar with a native schoolboy accent. He was about six years younger than she, a youth on the divide between childhood and adulthood. He looked at her with a young man's cocksureness, which she knew well enough was mostly bravado and the remainder pure bluff. "I am, sonny boy," she said. "But if you are looking for flight instruction, you got the wrong girl."
"I am trying to hook a ride," he said, and walked over to her table. "In eight months I have to go in the service." He pointed to the pictures on the screen where soldiers were toiling slowly up a mountain trail in camouflaged body armor.
Holly glanced at the video, then nodded. "I don't blame you a bit. I wish I could help you."
His face reddened. "No, you don't understand. I am not running away. It's just, I wanted to see some of the galaxy before -- well, you know. These wars never seem to end. When the eight months are up, I'll come back and do my bit." He sat down at her table, letting his pack slide to the floor. "I don't have any money. I'll have to hitchhike."
She glanced down at her cup of ersatz and said, "Sorry, no riders. The Bird is a one seater anyway."
He smiled. "The Bird? Is that the name of your ship? My name is Norval. Maybe you could introduce me to some of the other pilots. Maybe someone else has room."
She shrugged. "I don't know anyone here. There aren't that many ships that call, anyway. You might have to wait a long time to find one that is going your way."
"I don't care where I go, as long as it is off planet," he said. "I just want to get out in space. Just so I will have done it."
She gestured at the empty tables. "You see how it is."
Norval reached into his trousers saying, "Alright, I lied. I do have money. Here." He threw a wad of credits on the table. "Is that enough?"
Holly shoved the money back toward him. "I say again, I don't have room. I wasn't trying to hold you up for more money. Why don't you see if you can hire a ship? There is a star taxi based at Lecheornen."
He picked up the money and leaned closer. "I can't," he said. "It's illegal for me to leave Alpenmeuse until I have 'completed' my military service."
Holly stood up. "Look, I am telling you that I can't help you. You'll have to stop bothering me." She picked up her cup and walked to the dispensing machine. While she filled it, she glanced over his shoulder and saw him sitting at the table looking sad. She said, "You are lucky I don't take your money and turn you over to the authorities. Be careful where you flash that roll."
Norval stuffed the money in his pocket and walked out. His face was intense and thoughtful. Holly watched him go with a bad feeling. When he was out of the room, she whispered after him, "Good luck, Norval. I hope you make it."
* * *
Holly departed Alpenmeuse just as the local sun was setting on the spaceport at Serben. All the shadows were long and the sky was red and hazy. It was a standard horizontal take-off, a brief roll along concrete, rotate at one hundred forty and the Bird lifted abruptly. Holly was briefly aware of the ship's shadow rushing away to infinity as she climbed toward the high cirrus deck that blocked the sky. A little later, while preparing for the first hyperspace maneuver, she glanced up from her console and saw the planet glaringly redly at her. She wondered why human beings had ever settled such a hell.
An hour later, The Bird emerged from hyperspace and the navigation display flashed green. Holly leaned over her Optoscope to scan for Vornuth. The wide-angle view of the sky was confusing and when she lifted her eyes back to the navigation display again it read: "Nav State Invalid."
The next item on the flight plan was a canned inertial burn to kill relative proper motion. You come out of a hyperspace jump with the same inertial velocity you went in with and had to burn it off with thrusters, the old fashioned way. In order to do the burn, you had to know which way you were going. With the navigation computer fouled up, Holly not only did not where she was or which way she was going, she did not even know which way the nose was pointing.
"Damned computer can't make up it's mind," Holly said aloud. She recycled the navigation program and waited for it to produce a new solution. Minutes ticked by and the display remained blank with only a bland, "Nav Initialization in Progress." Holly untinted the forward window and studied the raw view of the sky in front of the nose. Nothing seemed familiar, but there was nothing to worry about, she assured herself. The navigation program would straighten itself out and she could get back on course with an extra jump. Holly keyed the S-Com and called the dispatcher. It made her feel better to hear Lewis' calm, matter of fact voice.
"Understand you will be delayed," said Lewis. "Can you give me an update on the estimated time of arrival?"
Holly added on thirty minutes and gave him the new time. She guarded her voice.
"Understand, Holly. What's the problem?"
"The navigation computer is acting up," she said. "I think there was a glitch in the power supply. I had a good solution, but it dumped the whole thing and had to be restarted from scratch. I haven't been able to identify anything visually."
There was a pause, then Lewis said, "Are you lost?"
A cold sensation grabbed Holly in the stomach. Lost? Why did he have to use that word? "I am saying that I will be delayed thirty minutes," she said, her voice growing taut. "As soon as Nav converges, I'll come in."
"Do you wish to declare an emergency?"
Holly looked up at the nav display again. It still was blank. "There is no reason for that," she said. "Just give me some time to sort things out."
There was another long pause and Lewis came back, "Good girl, Holly. Stay calm. Let me get some help in here."
"Don't make this into a major crisis," Holly snapped. "I am not lost."
Minutes passed without anymore from the dispatcher. Holly spent the time looking through the octant, looking for a familiar star field. The next voice she heard was Sam Duff, the chief pilot for the express company. "How you doing Holly? Are you feeling okay?"
"Sam! Did Lewis bother you with this? Of course I am okay. Why are you fellows trying to make this into an emergency? It is just a little glitch in the equipment. I am going to be all right."
Duff said, "Of course you are, Holly, but we don't want to take any chances. How is the computer doing?"
"Still nothing Sam. I am thinking about doing about a ten parsec jump and letting the computer start again with a different sky. I see a cluster that might be Old Snake."
"Don't do anything yet," Sam warned. "Turn on the telemetry and let us download your computer memory. We can check out the system here and find out which one of the boxes is not working."
Holly took a deep breath. Leave it to Sam, she thought. Don't worry, Sam will take care of everything. "Okay. Telemetry coming on now. You fellows hurry up and get that black box fixed. I have a date with a kickball player."
"That's the spirit, Holly," Sam said. "Look, Lewis needs this channel. Why don't you switch over to the emergency channel until we get this straightened out?"
"But it is not an emergency, Sam."
"I know, Holly. It is just a temporary measure to make better use of available channels. Do you concur? It's your call."
Holly was annoyed that her little predicament was being made to look like a disaster. Everybody was always picking at her, trying to make out she was somehow not quite as good as the others. It was not a good idea to show pique, if she wanted to get ahead in the company. If there were any justice in the universe, she would have Sam's job one day. "Yes, Sam. I concur. Switching to emergency. If unable, I will call again on this channel."
Once contact had been reestablished on the emergency channel, ground did not talk to her very much. Once every ten minutes, she would call them up just to make sure she still had contact. She ran a series of onboard systems checks and wondered why she hadn't heard anything from the ground about the download analysis. They had had plenty of time.
Holly called the ground and this time a new voice answered. It was Frieda, one of the trainees in the dispatch section. "Frieda? Where is Sam?"
"Sam is having a conference with some engineers in the back room," said Frieda. "They said for you not to worry."
"I am not worried," Holly said.
Frieda's voice suddenly broke. "Oh, Holly! You're so brave!"
Brave? "What's going on, Frieda?"
"I am not supposed to tell you." Frieda would not say anymore.
Holly swung the eye piece of the octant toward her again and leaned over it with a feeling of dread. Something was badly wrong with the sky. She cranked up the magnification and watched the stars seem to move in toward her, then vanish off the edge of the field of view as she put in more zoom. Stars were just points of light, of course. No matter how much magnification you put in, they remained points of light.
Only these stars were not points, she realized. At about fifty power, the stars resolved themselves in spiral shapes, tilted at all possible angles. She moved the octant across its limit of travel, then moved the ship a little to scan another part of the sky. There were no stars in sight, anywhere. Everything she pointed the optoscope at was resolved into a galaxy.
Holly knew then that she was lost. Totally and irrevocably lost. "Frieda," she whispered into the microphone. "I am in intergalactic space."
"We know, Holly," said Sam, coming back on the line. "I am sorry."
"Sam! Isn't there any way to get back? Doesn't one of those galaxies have to be the Milky Way?"
"Let me explain, Holly." Duff's voice was gentle as he laid it on the line. "As you know, once in awhile the phase tracking slips on these hyperspace drives. If that happens at just the wrong instant, you can get a random displacement in the megaparsec range. It is a very rare occurrence, but the data analysis indicates it happened. Chances are, you are somewhere within a million light years of our galaxy, but you could be much farther away than that. The chances of finding your way back are vanishingly small."
Holly felt her body start to shake. Her composite helmet was banging against the side of the tiny cockpit. She could not make it stop shaking. She wanted to talk to Sam, she wanted to ask him some questions, but she could not talk while her body was shaking. She moved her hand to turn off the S-com, but her hand was shaking. She forced it down and fumbled with the tab until the green talkback changed to amber. As soon as the microphone was dead, she ripped her flight helmet off and let it drift away. She took several deep breaths and tried to collect herself. It was important not to panic.
She was still shaking, but not convulsively anymore. She could work. Holly switched on the S-com and was greeted by a voice calling The Bird. "Holly! Are you there? Come in please!"
Holly reached for the hand mike. She did not try to suppress the tremble in her voice as she said, "Go ahead, Ray. I hear you."
Ray Husky paused, then started to talk once more. "That's a relief. I thought you were gone. How you doing, Champ?"
"I am in deep trouble if I am talking to you, Ray," she said. "That's no joke."
Ray was the survival specialist. They kept him on call at the dispatch center for just this kind of emergency. "Alright Holly, just stay with me and stay calm. You are a good pilot and there is still a piece of work to be done. Don't give up."
"I am not giving up, Ray. I am bringing The Bird home." They would call it Denial, she realized, as soon as she said it. Holly didn't care what they thought.
"Forget it, Holly. That is not an option," said Ray. "Let me go over the options for you."
"Why isn't that an option, Ray? I am sitting in a ship that go anywhere in the universe in an eyeblink. I'll just start checking out these nearby galaxies. Sooner or later, I'll find the right one. Then all I have to do is hunt around until I find some familiar stars and ..."
"That's not possible, Holly, and you know it. The universe is too big and our galaxy is too small. You have one decision to make and you had better make it right away because you have only a couple of days life support remaining. I am going to ask you a question and I want you to consider your answer carefully. Do you want to live?"
In a shaky voice, Holly said, "Of course I want to live, Ray. What kind of a question is that?"
"It's a basic question, Holly. And don't say, of course you want to live. It is not as simple as that. What I am asking is, do you want to live, even if it means never seeing another human being again for the rest of your life?"
"Yes, Ray. Yes. I don't want to die. There is always hope."
"No, Holly, there is no hope. The best that can be expected is to prolong your life for some months or possibly years. The odds are against you, so even that may not succeed, but there is a chance if you want to take it. It will take courage and hard work. If you decide to check out, I'll understand. If you want to play it out all the way, we will help you from here as long as we can."
Holly took another deep breath. She was feeling a little calmer now. "I want to live, Ray. Tell me what to do."
"Alright, Holly. Here it is. Your best chance is to try to find a living world and land. We'll help you select a galaxy that looks like a good prospect, then we can process the spectral data and identify stars that are likely to have suitable planets. We may have to look at thousands before we find a good one, but there is time if you are willing to work hard and not despair. You will have to do a good piece of flying and in the end make a drag entry onto a planet about which you will have virtually no information. Are you game?"
"I am game, Ray."
"Good girl. We'll have to choose very carefully where you are to land," he warned. "Mass-energy is going to be tight. Once you hit the atmosphere, you are committed."
* * *
The computer was flashing messages, some of them contradictory at her. Each message warned of impending destruction and doom. Holly ignored them all flew by the seat of her pants. Her only concern was to keep the g-load down so the ship would not break up around her. A read out said the air speed was Mach 26, but what did that mean? All she had left was a two axis control, the atmosphere had ripped away the main propulsion units, pylons and all. The ship creaked and groaned under the unaccustomed strain. She was never built to enter atmosphere at this speed. If she could get down below Mach 1, she might try a parachute, but her best bet was a belly landing or a ditching in water. Holly smelled smoke as the heat from the overheated hull began to penetrate the interior and take out the avionics. Most of the equipment was built into the structure that surrounded her. Holly would burn last, but if she lost flight control she would burn for certain.
Holly eased the bank angle a little and let the ship rise into thinner air. That would give it a chance to cool a little, she hoped.
There was a loud banging from behind her. Something must have given away and was now rattling against the hull. Holly tensed for a moment, wondering if this was the end. She moved the hand controller carefully and saw that she still had two-axis control. Perhaps it was just a piece of pylon dangling by its cables. How much longer could the Bird hold together? How much longer before the control system failed and she became a meteor flaming to destruction? The temptation was to steepen the bank and dig deep into the atmosphere. The more air, the more drag, and the sooner this would be over. Too much drag, however, and it would be all over in mid-air.
As the speed dropped, the flames around the forward viewport diminished and Holly caught a glimpse of the planet below. It was not exactly below, it was on the right side of the view port as the horizon ran vertically because of the Bird's steep entry bank angle. The vista was of a vast ocean without a spot of land. There had been continents earlier, when she viewed the planet from thousands of kilometers away.
Holly scanned the guidance display. At her present speed, she could still travel over a thousand nautical miles so there was a good chance she could clear the ocean beneath her. She bit her lower lip and waited, watching for a shadow of land to slip beneath the horizon.
When a gray streak appeared and began to grow toward her, Holly was afraid at first that it was just a low cloud deck, but as it grew closer, she realized it was indeed land. She could make out mountains, rivers, lakes, even forests. It was a hospitable looking country and it rolled by underneath her for hundreds of kilometers. Her speed was dropping, but when she saw the opposite coast of the continent come into view, she realized she was going to overshoot. The entry would terminate over water. She had a few hundred miles of cross range maneuver to play with, and then she was going down.
It was contrary to procedure, but Holly steepened her bank and tried to bend her trajectory in a southerly direction. Perhaps she could keep it close to land. Holly reported her action to Ray.
"Not yet, Holly," he said. "You can't turn at this speed."
"But I am going to land in the middle of the ocean if I don't," she snapped back. "I almost got it made, Ray. I can't lose it now."
"Just watch the G-loads, Holly. Don't let her break up on you."
"Sure Ray. I am watching them."
The Bird dropped below mach 2 some 30 kilometers above the surface and Holly rolled the ship level to get maximum glide. Nothing but ocean in every direction, although there were some clouds clustered together in a way that suggested there might be a group of islands. Holly rolled the nose around toward them and let the Bird slow to best glide speed, some two hundred knots.
As she descended lower and the speed continued to decrease, Holly realized that she was looking at a peninsula, beyond which lay a vast continent. Behind her head, the pounding that she had heard earlier came again. If The Bird would just hold together a little longer, she could belly land on a broad beach that began to spread beneath the nose.
The thrusters were gone, she was lucky the wings had stayed on. The last few hundred meters would depend entirely on eyeballs and seat of the pants flying. She could not trust the baro altimeter, it was not calibrated for this atmosphere. The radar altimeter seemed to be broke, probably ripped off in the atmospheric entry. Holly pointed the nose at the beach and hoped there were no obstructions. The Bird glided like a brick! If she flew it into the ground, she was dead. But how can you flare without altitude reference? One of two things was going to happen, she realized. Either she would flare too late and make a crater on this sandy beach, or she would flare too high, stall out, and hit out of control. She was dead either way.
"I can't do it, Ray," she said aloud. "It's not possible."
"Don't give up, Holly," he said. "You promised me you wouldn't give up."
How much longer? She could not tell, but in a very few seconds she would have to make a decision. "I am sorry, Ray. I tried. Thanks for everything." Looking down at the landscape that rushed up to meet her, there was nothing to establish scale. It was a fractal pattern of beach, ocean, and vegetation. She could not tell if the green plants to her left were tall trees or tiny bushes.
In the corner of her eye she saw a dark shape rushing inward toward her and directed her gaze at it. It was the shadow of Bird! Coming home from infinity. Everything snapped into scale immediately. Two hundred meters .... one-fifty ... one hundred .... Now!
The nose came up and The Bird flew straight and level for a moment. Then she seemed to mount upward, but that could mean disaster. Holly resisted the temptation to drop the nose and held on, gradually pulling up the nose. Trees, sand, and driftwood rushed by beneath her. The Bird began to settle as her velocity died. The tail dug into the sand and hell broke loose. A giant seized the ship and began to shake it. The tortured hull screamed, squealed, and groaned as the ship began to break up. Like an earthquake, the violence was short lived, but to Holly it seemed to go on for a long long time.
At last, the Bird came to her final resting place, and there she died before Holly's eyes as the last dial went dark and the last display screen flickered and was blank. It was a hard landing, but survivable. Everything was smashed in the cockpit, including both S-coms. Holly crawled from the wreck through the broken forward window dragging the emergency medical kit and her flight case. She sat on the sand, still alive, and examined her body. She was bruised, but there were no broken bones, unless that pain when she took a deep breath were a broken rib. She hoped not.
When Holly had rested awhile, she got up and examined the ship. The Bird had broken in two and some of the cargo was spilled onto the sand. She had been hauling a load of nanochips, nothing useful for survival. There had been no survival gear on board. If an anomaly happened in transit, you were dead. "This can't be happening," she said. There was no chance of finding a living world with a breathable atmosphere, no chance of making a drag entry to an unknown planet and getting the ship to ground without burning up, breaking up, or smashing up. None of this could happen.
Yet, it had. Nominally, Holly reflected, we are all dead. If she did not find potable water soon, the universe would be restored to its normal condition: Joanne Holly, dead. Holly took a deep breath and knew a moment of surprise. She was alive, after all. It was probably a good thing the S-com quit working. It would force her to come to terms with the reality that she was now on her own. To be able to talk to human beings an unguessable distance away, probably in another galaxy, had been a crutch that she had leaned on. She should start looking for food and water. What was she going to do for water if it didn't rain soon? The native life forms could be poisonous.
There was no time for despair, her situation called for action. The forest began a hundred yards away, and if she was to survive, there is where she would find the means, Holly decided. She was one of the missing, a forgotten dead end in the history of humanity. No one would ever know what happened to her. The Bird was her last link with the human race and she did not want to walk away from it.
Holly heard a sound and turned in time to see a hand reaching through the gash where the cargo bay had broken open. A blonde head and a wispy bearded face followed. "Norval!" Holly said.
"What happened?" he said, looking up at her. "Did we crash?"
Bio:Cary Semar lives near Houston, Texas. He is married and has no children, but he has three grandchildren. By day, he works for the Boeing Company as an aerospace engineer. By night, he is short story editor for this publication.
E-mail: csemar@ghg.net
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