"Come on sweetheart," said Mike. The father isn't going to eat you.
This was just like meeting one of the Senior old ones, and I was feeling quivery inside. I think I might have a problem with authority figures. Pat caught my hand impatiently and dragged me into the office. The man in black saw us and walked briskly over to meet my spouses.
"Pat and Mike O'Connor, it is good to see you again. And who is this, ah, child," he said giving me a good going over. One thing you can say about me, if nothing else, is that I always make a strong first impression.
"Say Hello to Father, sweetheart," Mike said with a touch of exasperation. OK, OK, just let me pry my tongue off the roof of my mouth and I'll say something. "H-hello Reverend. I'm Penny Lane. Ah, Peppy Ringo. Shoot! Peppy O'Connor." I think I blew it. "Let's sit down," said the man in black. For some bizarre reason I thought he might start singing Folsom Prison at any moment. We sat there silently holding each other's hands, with a painful indecision about who should speak first.
"We want to get married," I blurted out. "Let me explain, Preacher," I said, "I am a triune and…"
"I know about your people. I thought you were a triune when you came in but I wasn't quite sure because I had never seen one of you in the flesh. I was sure when I saw how you were acting as a group. I have read everything about you to date."
"You have, Proctor?" I said.
"I can't speak for the Church but I think you were sent to us by divine providence." He stood up and paced about the room. "I remember the year of the plague like it was yesterday. We lost all the elderly, all the infants, and a third of the adults between those extremes of age. And not one child has been born in this parish in the years that has passed. And then your people appear to give us back our posterity. What else could you be but a miracle. I would be pleased to bless your union."
How unfair. I was ready to protect my family and fight it out with this guy and he turns nice on me.
"Will this cause trouble for you, Father?" asked Mike.
"I am sure it will. The Church is very slow to change. By the time they understand that couples like you, excuse me, triples like you, are going to be the norm, you already will be. Even now most of the general population has yet to understand that male/female coupling is already a thing of the past.
"I wish more people had your vision, friar," I replied.
"On the contrary, lack of vision is what has been protecting you."
I was starting to feel uneasy. "What are you saying, Deacon?"
"Desperation. Madness. Complete social break down. When people truly understand that the only way they will be able to have children is with you triunes there is going to be massive unrest on a global scale. Let me suggest some things to you. There are only about a million of you in the entire world. So only a million couples will be able to have families. This is going to make you very valuable commodities. Another point to consider. All of you were released in the North American continent. Militant groups world wide are going to view this as a genocidal plot against them. Paranoia, hatred and violence will follow.
"I think it is entirely possible that triunes will be kidnapped and sold into slavery. I also think that as the population drops hate crimes will be directed towards your people. You will be blamed for the decline, and the corruption of normal human intercourse."
"That's crazy," we said in unison.
"Yes it is. And as human society changes I think we see exponential increases in hysteria and mob violence. I see human culture as we know it coming completely unraveled at the seams. But I also see a new humanity rising from the ashes. This is my own opinion, mind you. I am not saying that any of this will happen. Only that it might. It would be best for all you new trios to keep your eyes upon the horizon. Be prepared for whatever comes."
"OK, I'm depressed. I am going to require a double hot fudge sundae, and one dose of Rubber Soul," I said.
"I got more bad news for you, Pepper," replied Pat.
"Lay it on me."
"Our parents will be coming to the wedding. You have two sets of in-laws to meet."
They gave me these sarcastic grins. I could have strangled them both. "Change of order. I now require a banana split, one large pepperoni pizza, and we rent the video Yellow Submarine."
"Done," said Mike.
"Double done," replied Pat, "with a generous dose of TLC added."
"Is that all you two ever think of?" I said.
"You don't want any?" leered Mike.
"I didn't say that," I replied. "Pastor," I said rising to my feet, "I expect an A#1 wedding. Don't let me down. I have got to get these two home now before they start drooling on the carpet." The man in black smiled and waved to us as we left. I like an abbot with a good sense of humor.
Copyright 1997 by Dennis Tallent
You can e-mail Dennis at: tallent@earthlink.net
Dennis Tallent is a native son of the state of Texas; the direct desendent of an officer of the Texas Revolutionary Army. He is an active member of MENSA, The Libertarian Party and Tebala Shrine Temple. At the moment he is a nursing student at Northern Illinois University in Dekalb, Illinois.
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