Subordinate Clause Post by kailhofer » April 24, 2016, 06:44:06 PM This challenge was run by Eddie Sullivan. The challenge was to write a story explaining how Santa can be in so many places at once all in one night. Example story: The Gift By: Eddie Sullivan “Trust me I’m your sponsor.” Jimmy led me down Clark St. on Christmas Eve. “You've earned this. After tonight you won’t want back on the junk ever again. All you had to do was stay sober and drug free for the past two years to prove your commitment. I wasn’t even allowed to mention this till that happened.” “I don’t know man.” He was looking at me with a rapturous smile. “It seems a shame to get clean just to get high on something else after two years.” Jimmy just smiled wider. “I know it seems counterintuitive man. Just trust me once you have Kringle there are no other drugs. They only give it out on December twenty-fourth and the rest of the year you don’t bother with anything else because literally nothing else is worth it.” I shook my head for the tenth time tonight. “Jimmy this is nuts. Why do they only give it out one night a year? Why do we get it from free? Who are they?” He looked up at the night sky. It had started snowing lightly. He caught a snowflake on his tongue. “Look I told you earlier I sponsor at Narcotics Anonymous so I can sponsor for people to have Kringle. It is all real. Let’s just say it is a charity thing, think of them as Santa’s little helpers, OK?” He was leading me into a less than desirable part of town. We finally arrived at an older looking warehouse. There was already a line at the door. All folks lined up two by two. Apparently everyone brought guests to this party. We got close to the door and I could see in as the next pair went in. It looked like an airlock. You know those set ups that have an inner door and an outer one? One won’t open till the other closes. Eventually we were next. “Jimmy, I'm really not sure about this.” His smile was so friendly and he spoke with such a confident, calm inflection that it almost didn’t matter what the answer was, it was all in his tone. It rang of trust and safety, a bastion of therapeutic affect. “Listen Eddie, have I ever steered you wrong? I've always been there for you right from the beginning right?” “Yeah Jimmy. Sorry I sure it'll be fine.” The outer door opened and we went in. I heard gears and locks cycle. The inner door opened. This situation was already weird, but I wasn’t prepared for what was inside by many a measure. “Are those midgets holding guns, Jim?” He cringed at the word. “Dude, they're elves, don’t say midgets!” The little guys right inside the door holding what looked to me like full auto assault rifles painted like candy canes were disconcerting in their little green tunics and caps. That was nothing compared to what was further in. To start with there were lots of elves everywhere. The far side of the warehouse had sleighs lined up like a giant stock car race starting line. That wasn’t the weirdest either. Jim was looking around smiling, and he had a tear in his eye. “Oh Eddie, this is my favorite night of the year. It doesn’t get better than this.” “Jim there are hundreds of naked Santas in here with us. What kinda freaky stuff did you get me into?” He looked like he was going to answer but a third elf stopped in front of us. “Put out your hands please gentleman.” We did and he placed a gelatin based capsule in each of our hands. That wouldn’t have been all that weird but it looked like it was filled with red and green glitter. At this point I swear to you I have not lost my sobriety, honestly. When the thing touched my palm I heard sleigh bells. “Guests please ingest your Kringle.” Jimmy looked at me. “You came this far man. You got to do it or they will give it to you in the end without the teeth. They never have to do it after the first year cause you’l want it for the rest of your life, but it is so much easier if you just trust it the first year.” The elves actually looked like they meant business and might be able to follow through. I figured this was weird but if Jimmy could swallow a capsule of glitter, so could I if it meant not being shot or violated. “Cheers and down the hatch Eddie boy!” The lead elf handed us some dixie cups full of water and we took our medicine. The little elf mimicked opening is mouth so we would so him our empty mouths and we did. “Gentlemen this way if you please.” He lead us into a side room together and turned to leave. “I will return for you in a moment.” I shook my head and looked at Jimmy. “What the heck is this weirdness man?” Jimmy looked like he was blurry. No not blurry just getting bigger. He struggled to take his clothes off. “Quick Eddie get naked or the clothes will rip. The elves will store them for you.” Now that he mentioned it my gear was starting to feel tight. I stripped mostly out of panic. I watched as Jimmy grew a white beard and put on what seemed to be two hundred pounds right before my eyes. “Jimmy what the heck? You just turned into freakin’ Santa Claus!” Jimmy put one hand on his big jolly belly which jiggled like a bowl full of jelly. He hooked a thumb and gestured over his shoulder at a wall mirror. I saw that there were two Santa Clauses in the room. I smiled and then laughed. “Ho Ho Ho” That was when it kicked into my brain. Pure uncut Christmas Spirit. That was how he got everywhere in one night. “Merry Christmas!” Santa bellowed. “Merry Christmas!” Santa said right back to him. The End Top User avatar kailhofer Editor Emeritus Posts: 3245 Joined: December 31, 1969, 08:00:00 PM Location: Kaukauna, Wisconsin (USA) Contact: Contact kailhofer Subordinate Clause Post by kailhofer » April 24, 2016, 06:45:36 PM A Kindness Repaid By: Michele Dutcher Throughout the land of Kardose, the platoons of elfin armies raged. Sword upon sword, fist against fist, the bloody battle spread over the meadows and forests like a fiery plague of death. Nickoli watched the horrifying scene from beneath a tree whose roots were intertwined with the boulders on the mountainside. He wore elfin battlegear that had been scorched in the conflict below. Swinchi, an elf much broader than Nickoli came to stand beside him. “I remember a time when you and I ran laughing through those fields and forests together.” “As do I,” echoed Nickoli, saddened by the memory. “Now the elfin nations fight wars with our bare hands, trying to posses whatever little magic is left in our world.” They both looked down to the dirt as though trying not to see the death raging below them. As Nickoli raised his eyes slowly he noticed smoke coming from the smokestack of a small cabin in the distance. “Look there, brother, someone remains. The house has towering doorways – I make it out to be a human’s home.” “They’re probably hoping this war will stop before it reaches their doorstep,” said Swinchi. “Maybe. But perhaps they don’t know what danger is treading up their mountain, so close to them. Perhaps they are ill or deaf or blind. Soon the battle will be here and their safe hostel will be burned to the ground. We should beat on the door to warn them.” Swinchi put his hand on his brother’s shoulder. “Forget these foolish humans, brother. I must return to my troops. I can see them there beneath the branches of the Hugerdy trees, getting ready to regroup and rejoin the fight.” He stopped for a moment, knowing he wasn’t likely to pull his younger brother away from doing what he believed to be the kindest route. He then nodded in the direction of the cabin. “Go ahead, Nicky – warn them and then rejoin us. Your heart is too big to let others die in vain, even if those others aren’t even elfin.” The brothers shook hands before going different directions. Nickoli’s trek didn’t take him far before he was on the doorstep of the small chalet. He looked inside the windows, but only saw a small bush decorated with lit candlesticks and golden spheres. “These humans are an odd lot,” he whispered to himself, shaking his head. He raised his hand to beat against the door but it opened before he could knock. “Good morrow, kind elf,” said the female human, a full foot taller than Nickoli. She wore a floor length blue dress with a white apron and she motioned for him to enter the cottage. “Can I get you some refreshment?” “Madam, I have come to take you from this place – to warn you about the war raging in the fields beneath. You must pack what you can carry and leave now!” The woman merely grinned a little, reaching behind her to pull an infant from off the floor. “My son and I will be fine, elf. You see, I am a sorceress – and I have placed a spell of protection around this bungalow. Nothing shall harm me or my child, not even the elfin wars. It is Christmas Eve and I shall not leave my house.” Nickoli was taken aback at her determination. It was only then that he truly noticed and the warmth of the fireplace and the gifts. “But I came straight up to your door, madam. The next soldier won’t knock on your door to warn you – rather he will beat it down to take whatever he wants.” The old sorceress shook her head no. She looked into the peaceful eyes of the giggling child she held. “You came to my door because I wanted you to. Others would have been blocked. I noticed your character from a distance, your desire to help others, even if they are a species not your own, even if they are humans.” The elf could feel his shoulders relax as he looked into the safety of her eyes. “If you have magic, as you say you do – help me to win this battle.” “There will always be wars and rumors of war.” She put the child down to play with his toys. “However, if you are determined to win this fight, I may have a spell that will prove useful.” With a swipe of her hand a doorway appeared, inside of which were a multitude of other doorways. “This portal will allow you to be in an infinite number of homes at the same time – but only for ten minutes on Christmas Eve. You can step through it and bring death to the families of your enemies. The fighting will stop because they will have nothing left to die for.” Nikoli’s hand went to his dagger, thinking about the opportunity to plunge it into the hearts of his enemies. But he put his knife back in his belt when he saw the infant playing in the candlelight. “If only there could be one day a year when all children were able to be happy and playful and peaceful and loved – perhaps those memories would end war and show everyone how precious life can be.” “I knew you had a good heart, Nikoli. I give you permission, once a year, to enter through this portal and bring joy to children everywhere – to bring peace and memories that will help men remember to love life more than they love themselves.” The woman transformed into a beautiful being of light, handing him a bag full of toys. “Go now, transforming the world with your gifts and your love.” As Nikoli stepped through the doorway portal into a million homes at once, the cottage on the hillside transformed into an invisible castle that would be waiting for Nikoli Claus every time he returned from his errand of mercy, from his errand to change his war-torn world. The End Top User avatar kailhofer Editor Emeritus Posts: 3245 Joined: December 31, 1969, 08:00:00 PM Location: Kaukauna, Wisconsin (USA) Contact: Contact kailhofer Subordinate Clause Post by kailhofer » April 24, 2016, 06:46:28 PM Family Investment By: Mary Noelle He was cleaning the attic, well actually that isn’t true. He was snooping. His wife always hid the gifts in the same places every year and he always found them every year. This year so far no dice. In a last ditch attempt to discover their whereabouts he snuck up to the attic. He couldn’t imagine Destiny coming up to this spider infested, cobweb covered, unlit loft anymore than he could have foreseen her out smarting him with a good hiding place. He didn’t marry her for her brains though. He had cleaned up in the eighties so well that he could afford to have a twenty five year old trophy wife to replace the one he had sent packing and the one he put into the ground in an ill fated sky diving accident. This year somehow she had bested him at every turn. Tim was not the type to lose a contest of wits to a high school dropout stripper less than half his age. Tim Giles threw things from side to side in desperation. Good God did he have everything up here that he ever owned. There were things from his childhood that he had long since forgotten. Memories of days when “Crusher” Tim Giles had not the vaguest notion of a successful college football career and a position with the biggest brokerage house in New York City. Thoughts of corporate espionage and back-room deals to advance up the corporate ladder were all unformed in the head of little Timmy when he owned these things. There was a box of action figures all so well used that even in the light of the Mag-lite it was obvious. A Matchbox car case in the shape of a tire held little cars beyond counting. For a moment “Crusher” couldn’t think of money, trophy wives, and what he expected for Christmas this year (a Rolex). He was almost tempted to sit down and play with these old things. He shook his head to clear the sentiment. Back to beating his young wife at their little game. He backed away from the boxes of toys to allow their spell to fade. Something hit his calf muscle in the dark. He turned and shined the light on it. An old water damaged box full of flannel shirts, dockers pants, and assorted crap was sitting on the floor. It was easy to identify the junk. It was leftovers from his grandfathers estate. The old man had given him the seed money begrudgingly to make his first investments under the agreement that he be the one to receive all his worldly goods when he passed. Also under the condition that he never dispose of anything until he had personally looked at it. When the old man died he put it all in storage rather than take the time to bother to go through it. He was a man of his word and disposed of nothing. That didn’t mean he had to go through the crap. But wait what was that? The Thermos, really? The old man had that thing everyday of his life. He never let anyone touch it, fill it, empty it, or drink from it. He especially never let Timmy near it. A sense of triumph came over “Crusher”. It took him almost fifty years but he had won. He was going to take that container and drink Irish Coffee out of it for the rest of his days. Greedy hands lurched down and swiped it up. Oddly it felt full. He shook it a bit, back and forth. What on earth? No liquid should stay in there for twenty years without evaporating. If it was water based it would dry up. If it was prone to rot it would have blown the thermos up. Maybe the reason Gramps never let anyone near it was because it was booze. The thought of Scotch that was who knows how good aged another twenty years made his mouth water. It was worth a peek, after all if it was anything else the item maybe contaminated. He cracked it open expecting either the heavenly smell of good Scotch or perhaps the noxious odor of rotten who knows what. What he smelled instead was....EGGNOG? Not rotten eggnog either, it was delightful cinnamony, and warm. The thermos was warm too now that he thought about it. This was bizarre. What was more bizarre was he found himself taking the thermos cover which served as a cup and pouring out a serving. Why would he want to drink eggnog that had been up in an attic for twenty years. He had no idea yet still he raised it to his lips. It tasted like gingerbread, no wait...candy canes, then eggnog, yet a bit like mulled cider. It was warm going down. The warmth was spreading through him before he could even place the taste. A green glowing line appeared in front of him about an inch wide but six feet up and down. It began to strobe red then green and back and forth between the too colors frantically. Eventually it grew blinding and then expanded. It opened to another place. A place filled with....Elves! A little man was waiting directly on the other side of the portal. “Your grandfather said you would be along eventually. You sure took your sweet time. He obviously had more faith in you than I did. I lost a hundred bucks this year when your portal opened. I am Sack, your elven handler. Hurry up and get to wardrobe for your red suit, the other Santas are waiting on you for the briefing. It is going to be a long night.” Timmy looked down at his belly like a bowl full of jelly. He glanced at a full body mirror nearby. He had the white beard, the rosy cheeks, the whole deal. This was certainly going to be a change in lifestyle. He stepped through the portal. The End Top User avatar kailhofer Editor Emeritus Posts: 3245 Joined: December 31, 1969, 08:00:00 PM Location: Kaukauna, Wisconsin (USA) Contact: Contact kailhofer Subordinate Clause Post by kailhofer » April 24, 2016, 06:47:13 PM - Winner - What Warms Your Heart By: Sergio Palumbo It was nighttime and, as it always happened at this time of year, the tall old man was carrying a huge sack full of boxes, trying not to make a sound while walking through the parlor. He had trouble getting past the chairs that were placed in his path, which looked like fuzzy shapes under the faint light of his small flashlight, leaving the rest of the room entirely wrapped in darkness. He had almost stumbled twice and he could only hope that he wouldn’t run up against that wide trug the man knew had to be around somewhere. He was perfectly aware that he had gotten a little heavier over the course of the last few months, as he had already dangerously brushed three times against a table and a bookshelf in the sitting room, before reaching the place where the tree stood. The ritual of carolers - people walking from home to home singing carols in the neighborhood - had begun early that morning, reminding the man about his usual Christmas duties. He had immediately taken out of his closet the many gifts he had already prepared for his two 13-year-old sons, ready to be placed close to the traditional tree that stood next to the fireplace, as every good father was used to doing. The giant, pink (the color that was most fashionable this year) Holiday Tinsel Tree, towered to the top of the room at the far right corner. It was full of glowing lights and ornaments, as if it was a magical fruit tree - or a group of leafy branches with many stars that beautifully shone through them. Its leafage was heavy with the homemade decorations that his wife and the boys enjoyed so much. Style and color assortments might vary, but that tree - be it made of plastic or of a real trunk- was present inside of every noteworthy house in town, as it simply contained within its branches all the fundamentals and best qualities of Christmas, certainly! As a matter of fact, long before Christianity, plants and trees that remained green all year had held a special meaning for people in the winter. Just as everyone today decorated home during the festive season with pines, ancient peoples had placed boughs over their front door and main window. In many countries, it had always been believed that such practices would keep away witches, evil beings and even illness. It was not surprising that, like many other festive Christmas customs, the holiday tree was adopted so late in America. To the New England Puritans, Christmas was sacred; therefore they tried hard to remove ‘pagan mockery’ from the observance, penalizing any joyful expressions that desecrated ‘that holy event.’ That way of thinking continued into the 19th century, until German and Irish immigrants, along with their traditions, undermined it. But it was only in the 1890s that Christmas ornaments began to arrive from Germany in abundance, giving rise to the Christmas tree’s popularity around the U.S. Of course Americans liked their Christmas trees to be huge, much taller than the Europeans had ever had, as they had used small plants only about four feet in height to decorate their homes. Eventually such trees began to appear in town squares across the country and having one in the home became a real American tradition. Once the man had left the boxes on the floor, his blue eyes seemed to glitter for a while, as he stared at the low flames in the fireplace that reflected their brilliant sparkles on the Christmas ornaments that the tree had been adorned with. It lasted only for a moment, but in that brief second the man felt like the happiest individual in the world, and his heart was completely full of satisfaction and goodwill. ***** Drawing his mind back into his workshop, surrounded by the snowy peaks and the icy plains that stretched all around his wooden mansion, the gray-bearded man in his carmine-whitish clothes came to his senses again. Santa was a bit tired tonight, undoubtedly, as he always was at Christmastime. There were so many gifts to be given and so many places to be at the same time, you know… As the world’s population had grown larger and larger, he knew that the day would come when he wouldn’t be able to be everywhere at once, pleasing the good children who deserved his appreciation, notwithstanding his incredible means of transport that took him into the sky at night. So, he had started doing things in a better way. It was thanks to his incredible powers, which lay deeper than human knowledge could ever achieve in the future, that Santa was capable of accomplishing all his many duties during this period. In fact, he could connect his mind with all the fathers of the kids who had earned Christmas gifts worldwide and - by briefly entering their body - he could get done what he really wanted to without ever leaving his northern abode, eventually. It was his thoughts, his will that commanded those individuals and made all of them do what was necessary… So, it was Santa himself who inspired the humans and allowed them to go shopping, eagerly buying the things - be they games, sweets, books and the likes - that their young sons and daughters desired for this important holiday, everything that they would find next to the tree on Christmas morning. And wasn’t it always said that around Christmas time everyone is good? It was merely because of his mind connecting with them at the same time, for a moment, that it all became possible! Sure, at times some problems and misunderstandings might happen, as his present system of mind exchange wasn’t perfect yet, and someone might get something he didn’t really wish for or something that he wasn’t expecting. But, after all, if anyone received a gift they truly didn’t like or need, re-gifting was always an option, you know… The End